Traus
Newcomer
PL: 11,377
Intense Struggle(x3)
Zeni: 500
Tag: @trows
OOC Name: Noisemaker
Posts: 23 
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Post by Traus on Apr 12, 2015 8:01:52 GMT
Name: Traus Aris
Alias: Captain Capsule (abbreviates to "CC")
Species: Human
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Appearance:
Traus is slightly scrawny considering he doesn't do much physical training, he counteracts this however, by using his “Technolo-Ki” expertise to his advantage. Most of the time he conceals his short, blue-gray hair under headgear of his own creation. He has bright blue eyes and normally wears dark blue clothing.
(The headgear mentioned above)
Height: 5’10
Weight: 157 lbs
History:
Traus is an aspiring inventor whose goal is to better the world through technology. He is a distant relative of the family that founded the world-famous enterprise: Capsule Corp. Growing up in and around science and machinery, he naturally latched onto it. His father taught him all about capsules and the way they work when he was younger; it blew him away to say the least.
Though he always enjoyed creating and using his own capsules, there was something incredibly intriguing about Ki, and the extraordinary abilities it gave to ordinary people. He'd attempted to form an energy beam, but only conjured a spark. He hovered for a bit when trying to fly, but couldn't keep off the ground for much more than a second. He felt it's presence within him, but he just couldn't grasp it. This fact frustrated him endlessly, until he had an epiphany; if he couldn't gain the power of Ki, he would build it!
And so, he came up with a device that would grant him his wish. Traus came up with the Ki Pack: a small, metal backpack that greatly enhances what little Ki he has running through him. When activated, four thin, wire-like strips of synthetic fiber snake from the pack and down the back of the user’s arms and legs. The strips then materialize into one of a few different forms.
The first of which is “The Ki Shooter”: a Ki blaster that is about the size and shape of a large pistol, that the suit forms into the user’s palm. Though small, this thing packs a punch; it is capable of short bursts of Ki or sustained blasts. Second on the list of features is a flip-down visor with a built-in scouter. The visor covers the user's entire face and detects enemy vulnerabilities which are relayed to the user via an AI named Cici.
Practicing and trying to master his new-found "powers" by himself was great, but he wanted to utilize them in a productive way as early as possible. Traus finally decided to spend his time as efficiently as he could by helping people in need under the guise of "Captain Capsule"; honing his skills in the process. You can find the self-made superhero patrolling West Capitol in search of where his assistance is needed.
Starting Planet: Earth
Offensive
[N1]Sharp Shot: Traus charges his “Ki Shooter” and fires a thin tracer beam(pretty much this, but thicker); can also keep a sustained output for clashing purposes.
(Standard blast; charges at 33% of PL per post.)
[N1]Encapsulate: Traus raises his free hand toward an incoming blast as it is engulfed in the synthetic fiber. The fiber absorbs the attack and transfers it into his Ki Pack, where it then disperses in a jet of steam.
(Ki Barrier re-skin; can be used instantly to negate 33% of PL worth of incoming blast damage.
Can also be charged to a cap of 100% PL over 3 posts.)
Support
[SU]Thrusters: Traus has equipped himself with mini Ki-powered rockets on his wrists and ankles; enabling him to soar through the skies at will.
Special N/A
Items: 500 Zeni
One-Use Pod, Scouter
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Post by Reikiko on Apr 14, 2015 5:12:15 GMT
Welcome Captain Capsule! While your history is pretty fascinating, I have one minor problem with your profile: the techniques have a bit of work that need to be done. Sharp Shot: Totally fine Scatter Shot: This will count as a volley/barrage technique, meaning that your variant will cause the 33% damage split over the amount of attacks you unleash (also it's V2, not V1) Encapsulate: This will count as your 'barrier' technique, basically creating a personal barrier. The defense is 33% of your PL depending on how long you charge up your technique. Down the line you could upgrade this technique into an SU2 and SU3 to increase it's power, or maybe even add a special effect~ Aside from that all checks out if you agree with the above. Just wait for Bao to give a final okay, and then we'll let you go to your BP (but you can start pre-writing it already) Aside from that you might be possibly interested in making connections with people who might fit into your story. For example Vipoi and the BBA recently raided West Capitol, so he could make a fascinating connection to your character who is working with Capsule Corporation. (Also for Bao: Distant relative to the capsule corporation creators... I don't think I'm right here but isn't that Bulma's dad? Or I might be totally wrong here) President Bao |
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Post by President Bao on Apr 14, 2015 11:40:20 GMT
Indeed he is implying that he is related to Dr Briefs(and by extension Bulma) somewhere back in the family tree. (In this case Rei - good review, one thing to consider; word positively where you can to make things feel super welcoming  , rather than 'I have one minor problem with your profile' (a negative) frame it more along the lines of 'only one thing that needs fixing up'(a positive). It's a small touch, and most people will probably say they don't care or mind, but the type of language you use can have a dramatic impact in how it translates emotively.) Anyway, for you Tarus would have said much the same things myself, though a couple other people to possibly consider making links with (other than vi-poi wodsouls.freeforums.net/thread/1825/vi-poi-android ) are; wodsouls.freeforums.net/thread/2614/mitch-anjips-corporate-secrets-blogger (a fellow human and ex-corperate man who is close to your age) wodsouls.freeforums.net/thread/2671/benetto-giri (a great saiyaman type who also has trouble when it comes to ki) Feel free to check through any of the accepted or even pending apps and pm anyone who catches your eye, links are always good fun and they give you, and the other person, something interesting to explore/RP about down the track (as well as integrating your character more firmly into the universe), giving more meaning to your interactions. New people are naturally a little hesitant about doing this so more and more recently I find myself trying to encourage people to give it a shot Post up your beginners post when ready. |
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Traus
Newcomer
PL: 11,377
Intense Struggle(x3)
Zeni: 500
Tag: @trows
OOC Name: Noisemaker
Posts: 23
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Post by Traus on Apr 14, 2015 16:57:48 GMT
Glad you guys liked my history! I'll be sure to fix up my techniques and get to work on my BP.
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Post by Pieter Wolfbane on Apr 16, 2015 0:41:51 GMT
Very good character, Traus! Just one thing to cover, considering it is being put under the 'defensive' set up: Even though we don't have it listed in the Character sheet model (as it needs updating... DX), it's easier to put the ability under the Offensive area, as it simplifies it. Support abilities are more along the lines of movement and abilities that don't direct at defense or offense, like Ki Sensing, Ki Suppression, Flight (which you have), and those sort of abilities. It makes it easier on us staff who approve the techniques to understand the difference between offense/defense abilities and Supports. So, in regards to that, could you shift Encapsulate to the 'Offensive/Defensive' section and label with the tag, N1? Thank you very much and welcome to the site!  |
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Traus
Newcomer
PL: 11,377
Intense Struggle(x3)
Zeni: 500
Tag: @trows
OOC Name: Noisemaker
Posts: 23
|
Post by Traus on Apr 16, 2015 17:57:23 GMT
Sure thing, Pieter.
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, rather than 'I have one minor problem with your profile' (a negative) frame it more along the lines of 'only one thing that needs fixing up'(a positive). It's a small touch, and most people will probably say they don't care or mind, but the type of language you use can have a dramatic impact in how it translates emotively.)
