Herans in Humerus situations [Neato]

“It’s a turn of phrase. It means- wait, who the hell are-AIEEEEEEEEEEEK” The Heran practically jumped out of her own skin as soon as she turned to face the living skeleton behind her, emitting a shrill and uncharacteristically girlish shriek as she did so!
As the skeleton continued to speak, the woman held her hand over her chest to steady her breathing. Her eyes were as large as saucers as she scanned the reactions of passing Earthlings. She refused to believe that she was the only person in the plaza experiencing this! As she spied numerous other Earthlings with confused expressions passing her by, her mind composed itself enough to actually pay attention to what the skeleton was saying.

“...Glam?” The woman echoed in confusion before flinching as the whimsical corpse reached inside it’s own chest cavity. The Heran once prided herself on being a nigh-fearless warrior, but in this moment, she honestly feared for her life.

Then, the VHS tape only added to her confusion.

“...What the hell even is this?” The woman raised an eyebrow as she inspected the strange foreign block of ‘technology’. There was certainly the picture of A Heran printed on the front of the little black box of which even Viktara couldn’t deny the resemblance, yet she couldn’t recall ever having a popular career in music.


“L-look, whoever this GLAM girl is, it ain’t me. You’re gonna have to go rattle yer bones somewhere else, got it?” As the Heran spoke, a sudden smooth gust of wind blew through the plaza, carrying a fated speck of dust that landed on the Heran’s cornea, forcing her to end her sentence with an unfortunately poorly timed muscle spasm of her left eye.

Viktara tilted her head slightly as the skeleton tucked the strange device back under his brightly colored shirt. His explanation of just what exactly it was still left much to the imagination, though the “very old” emphasis of his sentence rung out the most in Viktara’s mind. Just how old would that Skeleton have to be for him to carry around a relic like that?

Viktara ran her fingers through her thick mane hair in frustration as the boney being continued to prattle on about Glam. Her expressions only grew with befuddlement as he suddenly came to the conclusion that the Heran was suffering from some form of amnesia. “WOAH NOW, hold on just a sec!” She held up her hand in a futile attempt to stop him. “How many times do I have’ta say it? I ain’t who you think I-” Before she could even speak her final word, she found herself being swept off her feet and carried at a brisk pace in a random direction.

While the logistics alone of how a feeble skeleton was carrying the 250 pound amazon was mindboggling enough, as his bony fingers gripped tightly around her bare waist and she felt every smooth digit caress her skin, Viktara’s brain shut down.

It was in that moment that she realized she would likely die that day.

Once the Heran’s regained control of her faculties, she had then found herself in the midst of a rainbow of colors. “Holy crap, how many unicorns had to die in order to paint this place?” She voiced as her eyes strained to pan over the new environment. Never before in her life had she ever been exposed to so much neon pink and blue at the same time. If this was an example of planet’s cultural decorating style, then the woman began to wonder if she had made a serious mistake coming to Earth.

“The hell are ‘leg warme-” Viktara let out a quick yelp as she was suddenly dropped onto the hard ceramic floor below. Hissing through her teeth as she rubbed her slightly-bruised bottom, she then focused her vision upwards to gaze upon the now armless skeleton.

“...”

A long period of silence hung between the two individuals as they wordlessly stared at each other. A clock tolled for midday in the distance as elderly pedestrians walked between them, presumably on their afternoon strolls through the mall.

It was only when she felt the bony appendages suddenly squeeze at her waist did the Heran finally close her eyes and sigh, now fully resolute in her damnation. “...Yah, okay. Fine.” she squeaked before yanking the arms off her body and placing the joints back onto their rightful sockets. The bones reconnected almost like magnets, clicking together with a sickeningly satisfying ‘pop’. It took an embarrassing amount of willpower for Viktara not to yank the appendages apart just to feel them reconnect once more, but she was able to resist the urge.

Now standing, she walked over to a nearby shelf and inquisitively tugged at a row of brightly colored plastic-beaded necklaces, before then turning to answer the skeleton. “Call me crazy, but I really doubt ‘Whatever I want’ can be found in here.” She spoke flatly.

The Heran scrunched her nose at the sight of the woolen cuffs presented to her. The idea that anyone with any sense of self-worth would actually wear those things in public was absolutely baffling to the alien visitor! As she internally resolved that Earthling fashion was simply beyond her understanding, her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the Skeleton dropping the weighted clothing into the Heran’s arms. A slight grunt of pain emitted from the larger woman as the surprisingly dense wear was heavy enough to actually matter.

“What the hell are these things made of? It’s like I’m holdin’ two elephants here!” Viktara grunted between words. She then began to focus the ki inside her arms to strengthen them, bulking the muscles slightly under the weight of the objects to make holding them slightly more bearable. “Y’all ...Earthlings? Really put yourselves through the ringer for fashion, huh?” She asked, still not fully sure how to refer to her skeletal benefactor. The fact that Neato had also lifted the clothing with relative ease while she struggled to simply hold them, still hadn’t yet occurred to the woman.

As she looked up to the skeleton for a reply, her eyes finally landed on the black T-shirt held in his bony grasp. ”...WHAT?!?” her eyes shot wide as her voice raised along with her ki! “OH, THERE AIN’T NO WAY IN [/b]HELL[/b] I’M WEARING THAT!” she shouted as her violet red aura burst forth from her body and shook the entire store! Had she not been gripping the weighted clothing in her arms, the Heran’s explosive anger would have likely set the entire building ablaze! Instead, there was merely a faint rumble rattling through the floor until the woman eventually found her composure.

Viktara scratched her head at the next prospective jacket. As much as she hated to admit it, It honestly was something she could envision herself wearing. “Y-yeah, sure. I guess that’ll -Errghh- do...” she grunted under the piling weight once more as she attempted to keep her dismissive attitude. With a star-shaped scouter added to the mix, it wasn’t long before the Heran found herself being hastily pushed inside the dressing room.


“...Viktara, What the hell did you get yourself into?” the woman sighed to herself as she dropped the pile of clothes onto the floor, eliciting a louder impact than expected. The cramped walls in the fitting room barely fit the Heran, with nothing around her but a single mirror that barely reached her chest. “Well, suppose I’ll just make the best of it.” she sighed once more as she began stripping layers of clothing from herself.

The denim jacket honestly fit her quite nicely, though if she bought it she would likely tear the sleeves off herself. Say what you will about her lack of feminine aesthetics, but the woman was damn proud of her sculpted arms. The Leg warmers proved to be somewhat difficult to wear over her gi, but she was pleased to find that some other woman had left a pair of black stretch-pants unattended in the fitting room.

Moments later, the Heran would emerge from the booth with a grin on her face before striking a quick pose with her hands framing her face. “...Well? How do I look?”
Viktara hated to admit it but she was actually starting to have a bit of fun playing dress-up, even if the outfit was an abomination of color.

@onyxxyleo 1696 WC, pm me with this thread link and what you would like when you get back.

Neato Skeletino 1269 WC & 1390 Z!

3208 + 1390 = 4598