Post by Nostalgic Ayumu on Jan 12, 2016 10:41:05 GMT
From within the depths of the mind of this old fool, starting to gather the information he had gathered over the last few days he would feel a rather sickening feeling in his stomach.
Simply moving one of his hands towards the nearby ball of moss that felt warm upon the touch while softly embracing it.
The soft beat of a heart audible in the ears of the old man as he brought himself closer to the ball of moss, the black fumes that infected his mind starting to draw him closer and closer to the ball, his mouth opening lightly as he was about to bite into the soft flesh of the being that stood before him before snapping out of it, this small hallucination stopping as rapid as the mumbling of the ball of moss still lying on stack of pillows with a small sock wrapped around its bottom half was seemingly nuzzling his hand back.
'What is going on with me...'
Ayumu thought to himself while the creaking of the bottom planks echo'd in the far distance of the forest he was residing in currently.
Carefully placing himself step by step further into the distance as his bare feet slowly slid into two wooden sandals, trying to not be too loud with the door swiftly being opened infront of him with a solid click from the lock.
The breeze of the cold frosty night wind as the small near infinite snowflakes continued to rain down for what seemed like a eternity before making a small hop into a tree.
A soft creaking sound heard as the tree shifted under the weight of the man placing itself on the snow covered branch with multiple large sloshes of snow falling down onto the ground below him, the little bits that fell on his shoulders being brushed off by his own hands.
Simply staring into the distance with the moon visible high above him, the light of its beautifull grace covering the nearby forestry in a radiant shimmer with the sound of owls and other nightlife making a orchestra of life.
Yet what brought him forwards was not the mere concept of becoming stronger, it was the concept of wishing to bring forwards a intent of wanting good to happen to this planet.
Growing attached to the people that were living in this nearby area, the saiyans, the humans, all the people he was meeting in his new found chance were making him drunk in delight and constantly made him clash with his soul partner.
Somebody he wished to have never fought against, yet he had too, last night ending up with this broken rib of his that he had already set and wrapped up.
'Life is a curse we all wish to keep, bringing ourselves further and further to the path of degeneration as we cover ourselves in blood'
Was his first memory, a disgusting one drenched in blood as it was the words of a minion that once joined in the murder of his wife.
Feeling the constant drenching of the blood on his hands, he would take a bit of snow from the remains of the leaves and started rubbing it over his hands.
'Why am i not able to get rid of this feeling of blood...'
Starting to use his nails along with the snow to scratch into his hands, he would have his eyes become thin slits.
His breathing becoming irregular while speaking to himself, constantly repeating the same thing.
"Why am i not able to get rid of this feeling of blood!?"
The pain of his nails, scratching into his hands while constantly scraping into the sinew of his muscles.
The burning feeling of pain that was assaulting his entire arms would simply cause his eyes to start to water, looking back at the house while trying to gather his own energy and feeling that it was useless.
Constantly being drained by that... That...!
With his iris starting to become thinner, almost a slit as he glared towards the stall, bloodlust ebbing up in himself, he knew this was the after affect of one of the many toxins remaining in his blood.
His laugh softly echo'ing into the forest while the tears that assaulted his hands bare muscles, completely rended of their skin only brought him to let out cries in agony.
Yet he didn't fall back, he did not try to assault the creature that was residing in that wooden stall so close by, he did not assault any wild life, even his stocks were made from animals taken out by saiyan attacks and put out of their misery.
He kept this immense willpower up in himself, under the pretense of trying to bring back his family, something he truely wished for.
But what he felt to be missing in his entire life was simply his desire to be greedy, his desire to demand, his desire to force his will upon others.
Having lived in the shades for so long, having suffered from the strong toxins of the forestry high up in the darkness of space to survive and the drug like injections that he was tested upon by slavers...
He lost part of himself during that, but he also grew into a better person during it.
People may call him faulted, people may call him weird for always striving to make other people feel better, Yet he could only pick up a responsibility if it was for somebody else.
With this night he knew not that this somebody else brought a mere simple image to his mind.
Something that he deemed as insignificant during that moment but it resounded in his spirit, his comrades, his people, but even the curse that other people questioned him for was somebody he had placed in a dear circle of his.
Unknowing to himself just how dear every single meeting he had up till now was to him... Unknowing to himself just how dependant he was on every single person of them.
But this was simply another night in the life of this mess of a man, Another night for what he calls himself, Ayumu.
Simply moving one of his hands towards the nearby ball of moss that felt warm upon the touch while softly embracing it.
The soft beat of a heart audible in the ears of the old man as he brought himself closer to the ball of moss, the black fumes that infected his mind starting to draw him closer and closer to the ball, his mouth opening lightly as he was about to bite into the soft flesh of the being that stood before him before snapping out of it, this small hallucination stopping as rapid as the mumbling of the ball of moss still lying on stack of pillows with a small sock wrapped around its bottom half was seemingly nuzzling his hand back.
'What is going on with me...'
Ayumu thought to himself while the creaking of the bottom planks echo'd in the far distance of the forest he was residing in currently.
Carefully placing himself step by step further into the distance as his bare feet slowly slid into two wooden sandals, trying to not be too loud with the door swiftly being opened infront of him with a solid click from the lock.
The breeze of the cold frosty night wind as the small near infinite snowflakes continued to rain down for what seemed like a eternity before making a small hop into a tree.
A soft creaking sound heard as the tree shifted under the weight of the man placing itself on the snow covered branch with multiple large sloshes of snow falling down onto the ground below him, the little bits that fell on his shoulders being brushed off by his own hands.
Simply staring into the distance with the moon visible high above him, the light of its beautifull grace covering the nearby forestry in a radiant shimmer with the sound of owls and other nightlife making a orchestra of life.
Yet what brought him forwards was not the mere concept of becoming stronger, it was the concept of wishing to bring forwards a intent of wanting good to happen to this planet.
Growing attached to the people that were living in this nearby area, the saiyans, the humans, all the people he was meeting in his new found chance were making him drunk in delight and constantly made him clash with his soul partner.
Somebody he wished to have never fought against, yet he had too, last night ending up with this broken rib of his that he had already set and wrapped up.
'Life is a curse we all wish to keep, bringing ourselves further and further to the path of degeneration as we cover ourselves in blood'
Was his first memory, a disgusting one drenched in blood as it was the words of a minion that once joined in the murder of his wife.
Feeling the constant drenching of the blood on his hands, he would take a bit of snow from the remains of the leaves and started rubbing it over his hands.
'Why am i not able to get rid of this feeling of blood...'
Starting to use his nails along with the snow to scratch into his hands, he would have his eyes become thin slits.
His breathing becoming irregular while speaking to himself, constantly repeating the same thing.
"Why am i not able to get rid of this feeling of blood!?"
The pain of his nails, scratching into his hands while constantly scraping into the sinew of his muscles.
The burning feeling of pain that was assaulting his entire arms would simply cause his eyes to start to water, looking back at the house while trying to gather his own energy and feeling that it was useless.
Constantly being drained by that... That...!
With his iris starting to become thinner, almost a slit as he glared towards the stall, bloodlust ebbing up in himself, he knew this was the after affect of one of the many toxins remaining in his blood.
His laugh softly echo'ing into the forest while the tears that assaulted his hands bare muscles, completely rended of their skin only brought him to let out cries in agony.
Yet he didn't fall back, he did not try to assault the creature that was residing in that wooden stall so close by, he did not assault any wild life, even his stocks were made from animals taken out by saiyan attacks and put out of their misery.
He kept this immense willpower up in himself, under the pretense of trying to bring back his family, something he truely wished for.
But what he felt to be missing in his entire life was simply his desire to be greedy, his desire to demand, his desire to force his will upon others.
Having lived in the shades for so long, having suffered from the strong toxins of the forestry high up in the darkness of space to survive and the drug like injections that he was tested upon by slavers...
He lost part of himself during that, but he also grew into a better person during it.
People may call him faulted, people may call him weird for always striving to make other people feel better, Yet he could only pick up a responsibility if it was for somebody else.
With this night he knew not that this somebody else brought a mere simple image to his mind.
Something that he deemed as insignificant during that moment but it resounded in his spirit, his comrades, his people, but even the curse that other people questioned him for was somebody he had placed in a dear circle of his.
Unknowing to himself just how dear every single meeting he had up till now was to him... Unknowing to himself just how dependant he was on every single person of them.
But this was simply another night in the life of this mess of a man, Another night for what he calls himself, Ayumu.