Orion
Archived
PL:25,539 Oozaru(x10): 255,390 Items:One-Use SpacePod, Pink Scouter, Upgraded Spaceship, x80 Gravity Chamber; Zeni: 192
Tag: @jin
Posts: 111
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Post by Orion on May 25, 2014 16:22:59 GMT
Name: Hanzo Ozu
Age: 17
Species: Saiyan
Gender: Male
Appearance: Standing at a growing 5'6", the Saiyan boasts common Saiyan traits such as: pure black hair, a chestnut brown tail, black irises and light in tone skin color. Hanzo is commonly seen in a black tank top, dark blue trousers and baring a average sized blade perched on his back for close range fighting. Like most lower class Saiyans, his hair style is similar to many iconic Saiyans as well as his Great Ape form looking identical to every one of his species transformation. While in the form, his size increases dramatically as well growing a full coat of fur that boasts the same color scheme as his tail normally is. His eyes also lose all characteristics, being replaced by a full tint of crimson red. Not only, but his teeth also increases in size and mass, growing sharp and terrifying, especially his canines that rival that of the most dangerous sharks.
Origin: Hanzo was born on the Planet Yardrat to a dying mother and a father who was never present. His very being on Yardrat was due to his mother escaping a planet put to slavery a gang of space pirates, of who slain and abused all of the inhabitants that refused to do the labor forced. Hanzo's mother escaped during the blackest of night in a one time use, broken down spacepod that eventually found itself on Planet Yardrat; The planet of anti-violence aliens. While Hanzo was still inside of his mother during the landing, he was unknowing of his mother's soon demise. Months pasted as her body prepared to give birth and when the time had come, the stress and strain of the Saiyan had tired his mother to the point of not being able to mother Hanzo properly. By the time he had reached the ripe age of seven, she perished. Not having a father figure nor mother. Hanzo was often ridiculed by the Yardration children for being of a different race entirely as well being the only child without his birth parents.
Now nine years of age, the young Saiyan was put to live with a wise, elderly Yardration who became a bit of a grandfather/father figure to him over the time he had lived with him. A strong bond was formed between the foster parent and the orphan, to the point of where Hanzo was capable of confiding in his foster parent and receive great wisdom in return, that which molded him into a intelligent strategist when he got older and advanced in life. While beig safe, nurtured and loved inside his own home, the children of Yardrat still called him out and made him odd one out still due to his heritage.
Becoming twelve years old, the elder Yardrat he lived with decided Hanzo was old enough to start learning self defense and techniques most of the race knew. Hanzo's training began seconds after his birthday, him leaning how to focus his jabs and punches into ferocious blows; as well his kicks becoming more focused and sharp. Months of fighting knowledge made him perhaps an expert of brawling on the planet, forcing the once ridiculing children of the land to cease their rudeness and become respecting of the pre-teenage Saiyan. Well over a year, though still before his thirteenth birthday, Hanzo was taught the Instant Transmission ability. His first time learning was shaky and only able to reach short distances, time after time, he practiced near perfecting to the point of where he was able to fast travel well over half of the planets exact size.
Many years had passed before Hanzo had reached a mature age of sixteen. His hand to hand skills refined as well his ability to manipulate his inner ki and slight space, he was considered one of Planet Yardrats greater forces. During the years of growing, learning and training, Hanzo had defended the planet from minor threats like meteors and small time invaders. His potential had been realized by a dying father to him, orders being given to him to go and find a new planet to defend. While Hanzo didn't want to leave his homeworld, he still felt it would be right to make his deceased mother and foster father proud and help others in different corners of the galaxy. Giving his last goodbye to all the Yardrations who had come to see him off, Hanzo had left the planet in the standard attire used by the inhabitants and set off to find a new planet.
A year passed, as the male had fallen asleep during the space travel, before he finally reached a new planet he had come to know as 'Earth' according to the ship's main computer. While he expected the inhabitants to be hideous and deformed, he was rather surprised to see Human looked like him, in shape and sized. In fact, the only difference between him and the new world's people was his tail, which flicked and wagged due to excitement of finding new life on somewhere he had idea existed. Now seventeen years old, Hanzo retrieved his awarded blade from the ship's trunk area, perching it onto his back and going out to explore Earth for what it was. Starting Planet: Planet Earth.
Techniques:
SUPPORT TECH
[SU] Flight - Uses ki to enable flying.
[SU] Afterimage Technique - an ability to move so swiftly that an image of the user is left behind.
--- OFFENSIVE TECH [N1] Omni-Slash IX - User rushes into the opponent and swipes, slashes and cuts wildly in all eight directions, finishing in a nasty stab forward into the opponent's midsection. Easily dodged, it's often used as a final attack or finishing blow.
Transformation:
Great Ape - User channels all of his Saiyan blood into an iconic form. Size increases greatly, strength and power following the size difference. User takes on the appearance of a massive ape. (Requires full moon)
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Orion
Archived
PL:25,539 Oozaru(x10): 255,390 Items:One-Use SpacePod, Pink Scouter, Upgraded Spaceship, x80 Gravity Chamber; Zeni: 192
Tag: @jin
Posts: 111
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Post by Orion on May 26, 2014 14:08:22 GMT
Right. Still a tad new to forum style stuff!
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Post by President Bao on May 27, 2014 3:32:45 GMT
Yeah, all good, helping out is why we're here Seems I can't rearrange this thread, so I'll paste Pieters comment here, delete his first one, then do a follow up post with my own comments. SWG Edit: Merged threads back together. No need to make a new one when you can just edit your old one Unfortunately means your post is below rather than above. Don't worry, I'll find a way to fix that asap, I've just run out of time this minute. ----- Welcome to the site, Hanzo! I'll be your residential staff member attending to your character today. 1) The first thing I'll need you to work on are powers. You almost have this down, but there are a few too many powers. At the start, you're permitted 3 powers and, since you are only saiyan, you'll be like the rest of the people on the forum that aren't human or human-saiyan in which you'll only gain power at every 6k pl from what your starting pl is. Now, being that we're 2000+ years after the last recorded instance of the Z fighters, long after Gohan published his book on how to use basic energy and various other techniques of the basic level. What this means is basic beams and blasts, and powering both up and down are available to you without the technique slots being taken up! However, flying and sensing energy are more advanced techniques, so they'll require a slot for each. Thus, this leaves you with only 1 technique to remove so it's good to go in this department. (Quick note, before heading to 2: Take a look at the tier system for techniques, so you have an understanding of what's gonna go down.) 2) History: I feel this history has great potential! However, it needs to be fleshed out a little more! A note you could work with is, "Where's the father? Why wasn't he there to raise him," and, "Who took care of Hanzo, specifically," as well as, "Was Hanzo persecuted for being a saiyan?" Those are some ideas you can use to flesh out Hanzo's persona or get some additional thoughts on what's goin' down. 3) Quick note, as you've already pointed out in your profile, but to be reminded, your starting planet is gonna be at Earth. We DO have interplanetary visitors at the moment, but that is only because when you're starting your rp with the rest of the players, you'll be startin' on Earth. The reason, as will be restated in the next note, is that we are taking it at a slower pace, so it isn't overwhelming. 4) Now, this last part isn't all important, as I take it you're preemptively describing your super saiyan form, but it must be brought up. Due to us taking things at a slower pace, a lot of transformations like super saiyan aren't available at the moment. However, First level transformations, such as Oozaru, are available! So, that's all I wanted to say on that portion! Once you get those first two parts taken care of, you'll be all set to be approved! After that, we'll be able to get to your Beginner's presentation and get you power level so you can get rolling! Good luck and if you got questions, ask away!
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Post by President Bao on May 27, 2014 4:20:59 GMT
And now for your revised character app: Character seems pretty good to me, only things to change are: Instant transmission would count as a Special technique, which means it's not something members normally have. Special techniques come from being a leader/master of a certain group, or by special negotiation with admin. You're in luck however, as we can consider this a special negotiation; I am willing to let you have it, so long as there are no protests from our other members . HOWEVER, instant transmission is a very advanced technique that requires a keen ability to sense peoples ki. What this means is if you want to use instant transmission you'll need atleast 'level 2' ki sense, which takes two technique points. Since you only start with 3 'points' to spend, it means you'll have to swap Flight and Omni-slasher for ' [SU2] Ki Sense'. (( [SU2] is support level 2 )) So it means you start off not being able to fly, and not having a finisher type attack, though you can still fight normally and use basic 'no name' ki blasts and such, as well as using your sword just normally. As you train and increase in strength you can then get Flight and Omni-Slasher at a later date [we have Reiko, an android who is also a swordsman now, maybe you could learn swordmanship from/with her could make it more interesting to start off not actually knowing how to use your sword and then get taught along the way].
Let me know if these conditions for instant transmission sound ok to you, or if you have any questions/concerns. (Alternatively, you can swap instant transmission for some other kind of movement technique like After-Image, and avoid this trade-off)--- And last thing is not something to change per se, just something to think about: Currently Earth was set to have an 'intergalactic conference', celebrating peace between the various planetary alliances. You also mention that your character was considered one of the 'strongest' on Yardrat, so maybe your character originally went there with a yardrat ambassador, partially as a keen but self-appointed 'guard' and more personally to see other worlds/races (including his own race, the saiyans, who are also at this conference/on earth and who presumably would be the first time he's seen another saiyan since his mother), tying in with what his dying master bid him to do while also getting involved in our current saga .
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Orion
Archived
PL:25,539 Oozaru(x10): 255,390 Items:One-Use SpacePod, Pink Scouter, Upgraded Spaceship, x80 Gravity Chamber; Zeni: 192
Tag: @jin
Posts: 111
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Post by Orion on May 27, 2014 20:11:06 GMT
Right! I may as well switch IT for After Image! Thanks for the info and suggestions, Mr. Bao!
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Post by President Bao on May 28, 2014 3:08:32 GMT
Oh, ok then. Well, I've fixed up the 'tags' on your techniques above* and you can consider yourself approved! Make a post in the beginners area here: wodsouls.freeforums.net/board/18/beginners-presentation-areaI'll then be able to give it a grade and assign your starting power level and items. * ((it is indeed a bit confusing with all these different [N1] [UP1] [SU] etc. currently N1 is for level 1 offensive techniques, SU is for level 1 support, and transformations don't have a tag))
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