Post by Vi-Poi on Jun 27, 2015 5:15:13 GMT
(Thread PL: 5,101,756)
Vi-Poi turned his volume to maximum. It was really quite loud. His ahem had rustled the treetops far below. He was sure all the little villages dotting the coast could hear him quite well, but we thought they’d get the jist of it. The rinky-dinky spacepod he’d arrived in didn’t survive atmospheric entry, and so Vi-Poi stood floating above the main continent, high in the verdant skies. “Hello there. I am Realigner Red, addressing the Little Green Men of Planet Give Me Your Dragon Balls or Die. As you may have guessed from my second sentence in this little monologue, I know all about your magical little Dragon clan, and the village idiot you exiled named Scargot, who made some very interesting items on Earth, items which I can’t find but desperately, deeply, viciously need. So let’s not make this messy!” He took out a cigar from his pack and lit it with a spark of ki, breathing in a snarl of smoke as he gripped it between white teeth. His red eye twitched. “Appear before me, ye conjurors, and cook me up some Dragon Balls, or I’ll cook your pretty green world until it’s an ugly shade of grey. Hehehehuehuehue. I understand Scargot generated the foci on Earth, so it should be a simple thing for you to generate them here, where your magical powers are in their natural domain. If you already have Dragon Balls handy, I will be accepting those too!”
A few of the small green specks his magnifying eyes identified as farmers were pointing up at him in awe and fear, now. “If it turns out that I’m wrong in my guessing, and Scargot was some exceptional wizard among a pack of dullards and the Dragon Balls were a unique anomaly he concocted, well, I regret to inform you but am pleased to announce I’m going to have to blow your planet up anyway, because it’ll be a funny consolation prize for me plus serve as a warning to those who would fail to bring me goodies in the future. Any alien on vacation here, or green little-uns with tears in their eyes, I suggest you evacuate the world immediately, as it’s about to get unseasonably hot! I hope none among you intend on trying to fight me, because I just got my armor cleaned and stole new boots, and your gross purple blood would be hard to wash off. Thank you, and good night. If you have those. It looks like you might not?”
A great gaggle of green specks were forming in the southern sky. His built-in scouter ranged them from the mid-ten thousands up to forty thousand in range. Vi-Poi laughed. “Like the buzzing of flies!” He sped off towards them, meeting the first fighter among them with a dramatic slap across his face that also happened to rip his antenna’ed head clean off. “Oops!” Vi-Poi yelled, “I don’t think you’ll be able to regenerate that! Don’t lose your heads -- important safety tip.”
The crimson-lined android flickered among the Namekians, laughing all the while at the fun of it, trying his best to destroy each warrior without getting blood on him, even though it fanned in great violet arcs from the crushing violence. Some were well-trained in the martial arts, and these Vi-Poi sported with clashes of limbs, letting them think they were close to landing a meaningful blow before he’d do something amusing, like split into halves and wheel around them, or activate his multiform and let one clone grasp their arms while the other tore their limbs off.
Eventually he bored with the whole lot, and cleaned them up with fast waves of ki. “Sorry! Too slow, too stupid, too squishy. The three deadly S’es! Also, you were too smelly as well, but at least I was polite about it.” Vi-Poi said, arms akimbo as he revolved around their charred remains that drifted slowly to the blooming Ajissa trees below.
The burning burr that was a constant nag in his chest suddenly tried to seize control, forcing him into a great spasm of trembling limbs as ice froze up his circuitry. The red spectral lines that ran across his body dimmed, almost snuffed out. It was nearly overwhelming him! It wanted him to stop. Stop the fun! Vi-Poi coiled into a tight ball and screamed, the inhuman peal of his shrieking synthetic voice cracking tree trunks and creating a great pressure wave that swam across the continent, wobbling trees kilometers away. It was a scream that was likely heard across the entire globe.
The viral lines flared a glowing red. “Hehehehuehue! Weak little outmoded old self, think you can beat me? I’m an upgrade over you!” He yelled, punishing himself with a slap across his face that flung him into the cool waters of the nearby ocean. “You’re nothing!” He yelled at himself, grappling his throat and throttling himself, hoping to choke that boring blue boy back into the corner where he belonged. It seemed to work, and the struggle for his systems ended.
He ascended from the sea with a twirl, air-drying himself with a blurring corkscrew into the sky. “Right! Realign Red is back in command, and you’re all dead! You hear me, you pathetic, powerless pipsqueaks? Give me your Dragon Balls!!!” He growled, throwing up a palm. A bright blue lantern expanded outward from his raised hand, like an inflating balloon. The interior of the pulsing orb suddenly clouded a deep and blood red, until the ejecta turned the whole sky a shade of crimson. It was an alien, unclean looking ki. “Huehue010010000111010101100101!”
“I’m feeling very negative today, and I hope you are too! Say hello to my Mega Negative Bomb! The last time I used this, it was charged with enough energy to turn a big city into a crispy pancake. Now I’m guessing it will turn your entire planet into a pile of potato chips!”
He grinned up at the glow of thrumming red energy, its humming diminuendo traveling across Namek, its blazing torch visible for miles. The sky above him blackened, and cackled with ruby lightning.
“Tick tock, watch your clocks! If I don’t get the Dragon Balls before I get bored, you’ll all be treated to the Universe’s number one light show!”
Vi-Poi charging Mega Negative Bomb [MP3] (10,203,512 next round)
Vi-Poi turned his volume to maximum. It was really quite loud. His ahem had rustled the treetops far below. He was sure all the little villages dotting the coast could hear him quite well, but we thought they’d get the jist of it. The rinky-dinky spacepod he’d arrived in didn’t survive atmospheric entry, and so Vi-Poi stood floating above the main continent, high in the verdant skies. “Hello there. I am Realigner Red, addressing the Little Green Men of Planet Give Me Your Dragon Balls or Die. As you may have guessed from my second sentence in this little monologue, I know all about your magical little Dragon clan, and the village idiot you exiled named Scargot, who made some very interesting items on Earth, items which I can’t find but desperately, deeply, viciously need. So let’s not make this messy!” He took out a cigar from his pack and lit it with a spark of ki, breathing in a snarl of smoke as he gripped it between white teeth. His red eye twitched. “Appear before me, ye conjurors, and cook me up some Dragon Balls, or I’ll cook your pretty green world until it’s an ugly shade of grey. Hehehehuehuehue. I understand Scargot generated the foci on Earth, so it should be a simple thing for you to generate them here, where your magical powers are in their natural domain. If you already have Dragon Balls handy, I will be accepting those too!”
A few of the small green specks his magnifying eyes identified as farmers were pointing up at him in awe and fear, now. “If it turns out that I’m wrong in my guessing, and Scargot was some exceptional wizard among a pack of dullards and the Dragon Balls were a unique anomaly he concocted, well, I regret to inform you but am pleased to announce I’m going to have to blow your planet up anyway, because it’ll be a funny consolation prize for me plus serve as a warning to those who would fail to bring me goodies in the future. Any alien on vacation here, or green little-uns with tears in their eyes, I suggest you evacuate the world immediately, as it’s about to get unseasonably hot! I hope none among you intend on trying to fight me, because I just got my armor cleaned and stole new boots, and your gross purple blood would be hard to wash off. Thank you, and good night. If you have those. It looks like you might not?”
A great gaggle of green specks were forming in the southern sky. His built-in scouter ranged them from the mid-ten thousands up to forty thousand in range. Vi-Poi laughed. “Like the buzzing of flies!” He sped off towards them, meeting the first fighter among them with a dramatic slap across his face that also happened to rip his antenna’ed head clean off. “Oops!” Vi-Poi yelled, “I don’t think you’ll be able to regenerate that! Don’t lose your heads -- important safety tip.”
The crimson-lined android flickered among the Namekians, laughing all the while at the fun of it, trying his best to destroy each warrior without getting blood on him, even though it fanned in great violet arcs from the crushing violence. Some were well-trained in the martial arts, and these Vi-Poi sported with clashes of limbs, letting them think they were close to landing a meaningful blow before he’d do something amusing, like split into halves and wheel around them, or activate his multiform and let one clone grasp their arms while the other tore their limbs off.
Eventually he bored with the whole lot, and cleaned them up with fast waves of ki. “Sorry! Too slow, too stupid, too squishy. The three deadly S’es! Also, you were too smelly as well, but at least I was polite about it.” Vi-Poi said, arms akimbo as he revolved around their charred remains that drifted slowly to the blooming Ajissa trees below.
The burning burr that was a constant nag in his chest suddenly tried to seize control, forcing him into a great spasm of trembling limbs as ice froze up his circuitry. The red spectral lines that ran across his body dimmed, almost snuffed out. It was nearly overwhelming him! It wanted him to stop. Stop the fun! Vi-Poi coiled into a tight ball and screamed, the inhuman peal of his shrieking synthetic voice cracking tree trunks and creating a great pressure wave that swam across the continent, wobbling trees kilometers away. It was a scream that was likely heard across the entire globe.
The viral lines flared a glowing red. “Hehehehuehue! Weak little outmoded old self, think you can beat me? I’m an upgrade over you!” He yelled, punishing himself with a slap across his face that flung him into the cool waters of the nearby ocean. “You’re nothing!” He yelled at himself, grappling his throat and throttling himself, hoping to choke that boring blue boy back into the corner where he belonged. It seemed to work, and the struggle for his systems ended.
He ascended from the sea with a twirl, air-drying himself with a blurring corkscrew into the sky. “Right! Realign Red is back in command, and you’re all dead! You hear me, you pathetic, powerless pipsqueaks? Give me your Dragon Balls!!!” He growled, throwing up a palm. A bright blue lantern expanded outward from his raised hand, like an inflating balloon. The interior of the pulsing orb suddenly clouded a deep and blood red, until the ejecta turned the whole sky a shade of crimson. It was an alien, unclean looking ki. “Huehue010010000111010101100101!”
“I’m feeling very negative today, and I hope you are too! Say hello to my Mega Negative Bomb! The last time I used this, it was charged with enough energy to turn a big city into a crispy pancake. Now I’m guessing it will turn your entire planet into a pile of potato chips!”
He grinned up at the glow of thrumming red energy, its humming diminuendo traveling across Namek, its blazing torch visible for miles. The sky above him blackened, and cackled with ruby lightning.
“Tick tock, watch your clocks! If I don’t get the Dragon Balls before I get bored, you’ll all be treated to the Universe’s number one light show!”
Vi-Poi charging Mega Negative Bomb [MP3] (10,203,512 next round)