glacial
Newcomer
Tag: @glacial
Posts: 4
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Post by glacial on Apr 20, 2015 22:43:05 GMT
species: Arcosians
gender: none age: 19 yrs old
appearance:Cooler in his final form with red plates history:Born to Lord Frost who was declared he was to weak he was put into extreme training that would had killed a normal fighter in 3 minutes because of this he had to almost always be in his final form because of this he chooses to stay in this form most of time he hardly ever knew his father and thought he was just going to be a guard when he grew up.After his training was completed he was sent to Lord Frost.Lord Frost soon told him that he was his father once Glacial heard this he felt his rage going to a new level he had many questions like ''why did he abandon me?'' ''why does he want me to be his son now'' he could almost feel a ki blast charging in his hand but he knew he was not strong enough to defeat his father but once his Lord Frost said this ''I want you to be my heir now that you are stronger sadly you could be stronger I putting you into a even more intense training'' now he feel his soul feel like it was on fire he charged towards his so called father who was going to force him into another 4 years of training he just couldn't take it all in at one time.He then tried to punch his father but Frost easily grabbed his hand and threw him to the wall he then said ;HOW DEAR YOU TRY TO ATTACK YOUR LEADER AND YOUR FATHER I EVEN GAVE THE POSITION OF MY HEIR AND YOU DO THIS HOW DEAR YOU; but Glacial only heard was mumbles and he charge two ki blasts in his hands and threw them at Frost.Frost just took them to the chest and stood up from his throne he charged towards his son and punched his head he then vanished behind him and put him in a choke hold leaving Glacile stunned Frost then kicked him in the backed causing Glacial to fall before he fell Frost grabbed his head and began to crush it ;hmph and I called you my son I will mercy on you this time but you will have no right to live on my planet; with that he turned final form and threw him into space.When Glacial woke he was floating in space he was to damaged to fly but he did feel something he felt rage but it wasn't towards something like a race but towards a person but he was surprised by how strong it was he then began to see a blue sphere coming towards him.All he knew was that it was coming closer or he getting closer to it.Then he felt a tug on his body and before he knew it he was on the ground he stayed like that for 4 weeks that is when he was fully healed .He began flying to find civilization he soon found south capitol where begins his adventures.
starting planet:Earth
techniques: offensive- Ki blast atomic orb[N1]
support-
Fly
special-
Items:500 zeni
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Post by President Bao on Apr 21, 2015 2:55:59 GMT
Please follow the template supplied here: wodsouls.freeforums.net/thread/12/blank-slate-templateThings become awkward when you chop and change around bits and pieces. Also will need more meat to your history than that. Remember, this is a roleplay forum, where writing stories is how you play. What you have there is a good start, but embellish more and give it real substance. Treat it like you are watching a movie (Glacial: The Movie), and I am a blind man that you are describing what you see to. Additionally, use the history to give me insight into the sort of person Glacial is, and what key events have lead up to him being this way. Lastly, send some pms to other members introducing yourself, and ask about possible backstory links for example search though the accepted characters for other arcosians, maybe one of them is a family member. Search through for other aliens or people from earth, maybe one of them was a friend or rival even enemy. That will also give you more to write about, as you can plot it out with them and then later on when you meet in a roleplay thread you'll have more to work with instead of just being a random stranger. ((kinda like how Cooler wasn't just a random arcosian - no way! he was frieza's brother, fellow heir to Kold's galactic empire who had now come to settle the score, alongside his team the Armoured Squadron, a group of three other character who served him and were rivals to the Ginyu Force. Backstory links like that are what make cool characters))
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glacial
Newcomer
Tag: @glacial
Posts: 4
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Post by glacial on Apr 21, 2015 18:51:57 GMT
Thanks for the tips im new to rp so ill take your advice
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Post by Pieter Wolfbane on Apr 22, 2015 2:13:04 GMT
Stepping in about your techniques, as I'm usually the guy covering them. Welcome, by the way! 1) You don't need to have Ki blast there, as everyone is innately capable, unless you're among the few who don't have them. 2) I need you to tag Atomic orb with the tag, [N1], which stands for Novice/Level 1 3) What does Frost Demon Style do, exactly? Is it like Wolf Fang Fist, but the Arcosian's way? Is it just his fighting style? If so, then there's no need to write it down unless you intend to open up a school in the future. 4) You have 1 too many techniques, if Frost Demon Style is in fact an offensive attack that uses Ki charge, or 33% of your Power level (for clarity). 5) Hyperdash needs the tag (SU2), while fly needs (SU). Hyperdash also does not mean you have Rapid Movement or After Image in your repertoire of techniques, and thus, will need to be applied for and learned in a thread for each respectively.
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Post by President Bao on Apr 22, 2015 3:34:33 GMT
Bit difficult to read, on top of the stuff I already mentioned you need to make sure you have proper punctuation and sentence structure (eg. a new line every time someone talks, proper paragraphing, and no run-on sentences). RPing is about writing, you don't want to give other players a headache when they try and read your stuff otherwise they might start avoiding you, and that would be no fun
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