Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2014 18:31:21 GMT
I'm actually not that good at writing huge posts. Using this method though, I was able to write a lengthy BP that netted Milac over 6k to start with.
All you do is take yourself back to middle school. Remember the idea of creating an outline? Use that but forget the roman numerals. Rather than explain I will just show an attempt to copy what I did.
Milac in space
a. describe the passengers
b. introduce Milac and a bit of backstory
c. Things Milac knows about his destination
d. Milac is a pest
This is just one act or chapter of the post (Out of 5). Having written this out I have at least 4-5 paragraphs that I can write. I don't even delete my outline on word, I write under the phrases I have left for myself and delete the outline phrases when I am done with the post. Before I even get to the point where the ship is going to start crashing I already have about 800 words just by writing 5-8 sentence paragraphs that set the scene.
If you want to see an example of my solo writing ability without using an outline, see my Dr. Fugu BP. I didn't really structure my thoughts and so a lot of things were missing.
You can basically take one act or chapter and write it. Go take a break, and come back.
Swimming through a twilight void, a small vessel ripped through space towards a large blue and green sphere. The vessel was ovular and creamy white; it appeared almost as if it were a cocoon. It had three windows of a tyrian purple shade; one window was affixed to the center of the ship and the other two were located below it on the left and right limits of the front of the ship. The ships exterior appeared to be scaled vertically along its sides and on the top of the ship was a narrow extrusion similar to the fin of an eel that ran all the way towards the back of the ship until meeting with a large protruding spike. The front had spikes as well that came out of the ship to form an “X” formation; spikes also extruded from the ship horizontally as well, though they were much smaller in size. The lower spikes of the front were matched by the back of the ship and it appeared their function would be to act as the ships stabilizers for landings. As the ship traveled toward the planet it was covered in a vibrant yellow aura that was propelling it toward the planet.
a. Describe the passengers
Inside of the ship were two Namekian’s. Green creatures with a slug like physiology. Their heads were similar to that of a bald humans, although small antenna protruded from their foreheads. One of the Namekian was much older than the other, and his head seemed to boast quite a few wrinkles that created a large number of folds on his head. He wore a simple crimson vest with no undershirt, revealing a orangish underbelly and under arms that was a sign of his age- whereas more youthful Namekian bore the same features but had a more pink tone to their underbelly and arms. The elder Namekian seemed to be a piolet of some sort, he sat at the main seat at the upper window of the ship and seemed to be monitoring a control panel of some sort. The inside of the ship was quite spacious and had a sienna brown flooring and a violet tinted lighting system. The other Namekian appeared to be a little green child that was dressed in full robes. The robes had a frilly white neck and flowed down the child’s form covering his arms and legs. Atop the robes he wore a violet vest that was of a simple design.
b. Introduce Milac and a bit of backstory
The child’s name was Milac and he was being sent to this planet as a representative of the good will of his people to the earthlings. Although the Kami was a Namekian that watched over the planet, the Kami’s responsibilities made him more of a representative of earth than that of New Namek. Maliac’s job would basically be a face for New Namek and ensure that relations remained peaceful. Milac made his way down to the lower right window so that he could glance at his new home. Earth looked like such a strange planet to him. New Namek had been mostly an aqueous shade of green, while this planet seemed to be mostly blue with green land masses dotted about its pallet.
c. Things Milac knows about his destination
Milac had only seen parts of Earth inside of strange human books and magazines. He had learned the language fluently but he didn’t have any real knowledge of what humans would be like. As far as he knew no humans had visited New Namek during his three year lifespan, so he had never seen one in the flesh. He knew that they had a need for substance beyond that of water and even ate many of the animals that inhabited their planet. Milac thought of this as strange and barbaric even, but he also knew from their magazines that they were a people of art and self-expression. He wanted to see for himself how the humans really were. He was sure that he could learn much about their way of life and share some of his own values with them.
d. Milac is a pest
“How much longer until we get their Bana?” Milac asked the older Namekian excitedly. He looked to his elder flying the ship with a smile on his face. Milac hadn't met Bana before he had boarded the Namekian space vessel. Bana was of the warrior caste and Milac had only met a few warrior's during his time on New Namek.
“We should arrive within the next few hours young one. It is considered polite to contact the earthling station before we make a landing so it could be a bit longer though.” Bana replied giving the boy a quick glance. He seemed a little bit irritated with the boy, who had been pelting Bana with questions ever since he woke up from stasis.
“Oh ok.” Milac said as he sat down near the pilot. He shouldn’t have set his stasis chamber to wake him up so soon. The excitement of being able to visit a new place was killing him. He immidieatly stood back up and began pacing back and forth.
Crash Landing
“Bleep… bleep… bleep… bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep.” The console began chirping in a low tone and the kicked into a high pitched tantrum. A screen appearing in front of the window showed a strange sign. It read “Impact Imminent”. Bana reached for the controls of the ship in a panic. The ship began swerving as the Namekian tried his hardest to get it out of the way.
“What is happening?!” Milac asked with a shocked look on his face. He had no idea what the sign meant or how serious it was. It meant that in just a few moments the vessel was going to crash into an earthling satellite.
“This is impossible! No satellite was supposed to be here!” Bana yelled in a panic. A bit of sweat poured down his forehead and Milac knew that his elder wasn't messing around. “Get strapped in boy, now!”
a. Taking cover
Milac began moving towards a seat as quickly as he could, but before he could arrive he felt a huge thud that knocked him to his feet and then sent him flying towards the wall. Bana seemed to be scrambling with the controls but the ship was spiraling out of control. Milac was being thrown about the ship as it spun counter clockwise toward the earth’s gravitational pull. Finally after being battered across the ship he managed to grab a hold of an opening in the wall where the water dispenser was. He grabbed onto it for dear life as the ends of his clothing fluttered about in the wind.
b. Justify survival through coolant system
As the spaceship plummeted towards the earth the radiant yellow aura it had exuded before began to turn a fiery orange. It had not been able to enter the atmosphere properly. The temperature of the inside of the ship rose exponentially, but it seemed that the ships inner coolant system was continuing to function. Cold mist poured out of the ducts of the life support system. It was cool enough to survive now but the ship was now covered in a dense mist that would prevent any sort of piloting from Bana.
c. Milac Impaled
The spiraling force was so great that Milac lost his grip, or so he thought. In reality the arm that he had been holding on to the dispenser with for dear life had been ripped off by the sheer force of the plummet and violent rotation of the ship. Now the boy was being thrown around again, until he found his body impaled at the stomach by a device at the medical station that had slipped open during the fall. Letting out a moan, Milac lost consciousness but the tool that had impaled him was fixed onto the wall. It held the boy there in place. Thick purple blood poured out under the wound, covering his pure white robe.
d. Hits earth
As the ship broke through the atmosphere it created a small crack across the night sky. It would appears nothing but another shooting star to the earthlings below. The spiral of the ship didn’t cease, and it plummeted diagonally far from the ships original destination. As it grew closer to the north it would appear to others as if it were a small meteorite about to land. The ship made contact with the snowy grounds of a large mountainside. The core of the ship was very strong and the fall was blanketed by snow, but it still cracked the ship at the seams causing it have many openings. The remains of the ship were being consumed by fire and smoke, but soon that would no longer be a problem.
e. Avalance
The vibration of the ships crash landing had disturbed the rigid peaks of the mountain. A great rumbling noise could be heard from miles away, as if a thousand animals were running in a herd. A wave of snow came tumbling down the mountainside like a fierce wave and swallowed everything in its path. It traveled violently and with haste. Within moments of landing the ship was being swallowed up by the avalanche. The fire and smoke was snuffed out and snow filled into the ship at the cracks and crevices that the crash had formed. The insides of the ship were mostly filled, only leaving a pocket near the center of the main room.
Escaping the wreckage
Milac’s eyes opened slowly, hours after the crash. Everything around him was a dizzy haze and much of the cold mist from the coolant system continued to leak out. He looked at the situation he was in and had a terrified expression on his face. He could hear a faint chirping of the emergency system, but it was being muffled under thick snow. He didn't see Bana, and he was extremely worried about him. When he went to move, he felt a sharp pain in his stomach. He looked down, horrified to see that he was impaled by a surgical device. Worse, his flesh had regenerated around it while he was out. Now getting out of the predicament would be an even more painful experience because his flesh was wrapped so tightly around the tool. He went to move his arms, only then realizing that his right arm was still gone.
a. Regenration
Tears rolled down Milac’s eyes. He was sure that he was going to die here. He hung his head down low and breathed heavily as if he had given up. After several moments of self-pity, he was able to compose himself. He started to grunt as he focused upon the nub where his right arm had been attached. He concentrated for several minutes and finally a new arm shot out. With it spewed out some green liquid, and the arm felt soggy and wet. Milac looked at it and tried to get it to move, but it felt very numb. After a few minutes he could feel the blood pumping into it and he could move it slightly. He flexed it over and over, trying to get the thing to work. After several minutes he was able to move it, good as new. He let out a happy sigh, he had never lost a limb before and it was good to see that it was actually possible to regenerate such a huge loss.
b. Unimpaling his self
Now would be the hard part. The probe that had torn through his stomach was mounted to the wall. Milac gritted his teeth as he reached down to begin pulling himself forward. It was a wracking pain, and Milac cried out in agony as he pulled himself off of the probe one step at a time. After spewing much purple blood on the floor, Milac finally broke free of the probe and quickly used his healing ability to seal it shut so that he wouldn’t bleed anymore. He felt exhausted, he had already pushed his regeneration to the limit and the air was very thin. He had to crawl against the cold floor, he had to save Bana.
c. Bana is dead
“Bana…” Milac said as he approached the mound of snow that covered the control panel and piolet seat. With a strong determination Milac managed to stand up and he began digging through the snow trying to find the piolet. As he dug to the piolet seat he found Bana and he undid his buckle. He was able to drag the piolet to the ground in front of him.
Milac looked upon the piolet. He had taken a lot of shrapnel throughout his entire body, but the true cause of his death had been suffocation. He had been knocked unconscious before the landing and then buried under snow. Milac was in shock, he didn’t want to believe that Bana was dead. He began trying to heal the man over and over, which only caused Milac to become extremely more exhausted and did nothing. In frustration the boy pounded on Bana’s chest and then cried into it as if they had been close friends. In truth Milac had never met the Namekian before this, but he saw Bana as his only hope for survival. He looked back up to where the console had been. Surprisingly much of the ships internal functions were still working. He moved back to it, digging way the snow as he went. He found the heating system and he cranked it up all the way. The cold didn’t really bother Milac so much, but his theory was that the heat would help to make the snow that surrounded the ship less thick. He also found the emergency control for the life support system. He turned this on and the backup life support started to pour into the remainder of the ship. Milac took a deep breath and already started to feel better. He looked at the gauge on the control panel, the life support would only be able to work for a few more hours at most.
d. Oh it is just water
Milac noticed something about the snow that should have been obvious to him before. It was just water. Namekian’s can live off of water! Suddenly he was sure that he was going to make it out of this OK. He went to one of the openings of the ship where snow had started to pour in. Despite the heat the snow was very thick and he must have been at least ten feet under the surface. Regardless he began digging through the snow. He was mostly using his hands to shift snow backwards. Every time he made some amount of progress he was depressed to see that more snow would sprinkle down from the sides. Milac was determined though. He continued to dig for hours, taking breaks to gorge himself on the snow. Snow was delicious to him, having never tried the semi frozen form of water on his life in New Namek. He did take some yellow snow that had rolled down the mountain and tasted it as well, but it tasted awful and he decided that he would rather just stick to the white snow from now on. He also saw a little bit of brown snow, but after his experience with the yellow stuff he was sure that it couldn’t be good.
e. Making it out alive
He was on his last leg but even with nourishment- digging through the concrete like snow was no easy task for Milac. The only way it was possible was thanks to the heat radiating from the ship, but the further up he got the less heat made it through his little tunnel. He was about to go back to the ship and rest, but then he saw a glimmer of light peering through the snow as he dug upwards. His heart was pounding, he had never been so excited in his entire life.
Milac thrust his little green hand forward excitedly and it burst out of the snowy tomb that he had been trapped in. He pulled his body up after several slips and he was out of there. He had a huge grin on his face, although he looked tired and weary. He got on his knees and looked into the sky with a pride on his face. As he looked back at the hole he had crawled out of he felt a little ashamed. Bana had died and he was here celebrating that he had survived. Milac walked away from the hole and came back with several rocks that he gathered from the snowy landscape. He placed them in a circle around the small hole he had crawled out of.
Stranded
“Today marks the passing of a great Namekian. May your soul rest with Porguna and the ancients of our lost homeland. Bana, you will not be forgotten.” Milac said solemnly. Milac bowed to the tiny shrine and got on his knees. He wished with all of his hear that he could have saved the piolet. He felt as if he had failed as a healer, even though it would have been impossible for the boy to bring someone who had suffocated back from death. He knew that if he lingered on these thoughts to long he would only make it harder for him to heal others in the future. He had been taught to let go and accept death, but he had never truly experienced it before.
a. trek through the snow
Milac trekked across the snow tiredly. He felt groggy but he didn’t want to sleep outside, the cold still hadn’t gotten to him. He was now more paranoid that he would end up buried under the snow again if he were to stop and rest away from shelter. It was hard to see very far, the weather hadn’t been on his side. Snow poured down on top of his head and his antenna twitched wildly at the odd sensation. His robes were in a poor state as well. A large rip in the stomach and back where he had been impaled exposed his pink belly. The area around the tear was stained with his own purple blood.
b. Oh a house
In this distance he saw smoke rising up and out of the air. He had caught the sight of a small hut with a fire going. Milac grew excited as he ran toward the hut. He was very used to the friendly people of New Namek and he didn’t give a thought to the fact that he might be turned away. He ran up to the door of the small hut and knocked excitedly. The hut had a simple red paint job that was peeling all around and a brown door that looked like it had been weathered beyond its years.
b. Mean man
The door swung open and a large man in a furry coat opened the door. He had dark skin and a thick black beard. He must have been twice the size of little Milac, and he looked down on the Namekian imposingly with his wrinkled face.
“Hello sir! Would it be ok if I rest here for a while? “ Milac asked politely.
Without saying a word the man slammed his door shut and a pile of snow that was suspended upon the archway broke free and poured on top of the poor Namekian’s head. Milac’s face formed a rare frown. He couldn’t believe that a person could be so rude to a visitor. He had not been ready for the culture shock of how earthlings often treated one another, let alone visitors from another planet.
c. Mean animal in a cave
Milac continued on his tired trek through the wasteland. He stayed along the mountain side with a sad look on his face. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a small cave. Surely, he could find shelter there for a rest! His slight anger at the man from before had dissolved and he once again smiled as he moved with a haste toward the small cave. He entered and huddled up at the mouth of the cave. It felt great for Milac to finally have a chance to sit down. Only a few moments passed before he could hear a low growl coming from within the cave. Milac jumped to his feet nervously. He heard a fierce roar of some sort of cat creature. Emerging from deep within the cave with a tired look on its face was a mangey old snow leopard that didn’t want to share the cave with Milac. It charged toward Milac ferociously with it’s teeth bared.
d. The chase
Milac ran with all of his might down the hill. As he continued to move along with the leopard chasing right behind him he slipped on a rock. He tumbled down the hill, flinging snow all over as his tired body struggled to resist the fall. The leopard continued its pursuit and was gaining on Milac. Milac was for sure that he was done for, but then the leopard turned around and ran off. Milac’s sharp ears caught the sound of barking. The sound got louder and louder and Milac was afraid, but he couldn’t get up anymore. He was defeated, he had tried so hard to survive but this world was too harsh for the soft boy. Even if the leopard was gone he was sure that whatever it was that was coming was something bigger and crueler.
e. Savior
A sled came winding by, and it stopped in front of Milac. He felt the strange rub of an animal’s nose on his head, it was a strange animal to him but any human would likely recognize it as a husky. The animal licked him, and a man soon came into view towering over Milac. He was even larger than the first human that he had met, but he had a fluffy grey beard and wore a red checkered jacket and a funny hat on his head. He picked the young Namekian up and before he knew it he was inside of a sleigh with his body wrapped in a fur blanket made from leopard fur. Milac couldn’t help but fall asleep as he was carried off by this strange savior.
The thread exit starts here
Something was licking his face, and it tickled his nose. Milac opened his eyes and he was inside of a large hut, and a dog not unlike the ones who had saved him stared back into his eyes. This dog appeared to be quite a bit smaller than the others. Milac was somewhat familiar with dogs, one of the earth magazines that he had gotten ahold of seemed to imply that they were pets to the humans.
a. Nice man helps Milac get back on his feet
“Don’t mind Mitzy, she is just a spoiled thing.” A voice echoed through the small one room home. It was the man who had rescued him. He had large ruddy cheeks and curly grey hair that Milac hadn’t seen before because of the large fuzzy hat he had been wearing when he had rescued the young Namekain.
“Wha- where am I?” Milak asked the strange man curiously as he rubbed the dog’s fur. The fluffiness of it was pleasing to the touch. The grey and white husky licked him again before running off to say hello to its master.
“Oh, sorry boy. My name’d be Sochu and you are in Jingle Village.” The burly man responded to the young Namekian. He was sitting at a table that was on the opposite end of the room. He was so large that it was wonder that he could fit through the door to the igloo-house.
“O-Oh. Thank you for helping me out. I thought that leopard was going to get me.” Milac replied.
b. A mention of earlier in the thread to show that the NPC was affected in some way.
“Ah yes, the wildlife has been stirred up because of some explosion that happened early this morning.” Sochu said. He turned around in the chair towards the young Namekian and pulled something off of the table. “I noticed you had a big stain on your little outfit, I took some pillow cases and made you a new one. I hope you like it lad.”
Milac stood up and approached the man, who had made him new vestments. They were white and looked similar to what he already had, although the fabric that they were made of was much thinner. Milac took them and bowed graciously to the man.
“Oh thank you so much, Sochu!” Milac said as he went behind the man’s dresser. He slipped off his blood stained robe and replaced it with a new one that was made out of a few pillow cases stitched together. It wasn’t the same as his dragon clan robes but it was close enough. Milac wore the new robes with a smile as he stepped back out, with the folded old robe in his hands.
“There you go lad. That seems better than runnin’ around with grape juice all over you.” Sochu said to Milac.
c. Milac doesn't know where to go.
“Oh that’s not gra- err… thank you again Sochu! You saved my life.” Sochu said as he sat back down. “Umm… Sochu, I hate to bother you but where exactly on earth am I?”
“This is the North child. Where is it that you were trying to go?” Sochu asked curiously.
“Um… I’m not quite sure. I was supposed to be in a very big city.” Milac responded to the man. ”Sochu… I came across another man before I met you. He slammed the door in my face when I asked for help. Why did you decide to help me?”
“Ah well, some of us here just don’t like company I suppose. I couldn’t just leave a little one out in the snow, ask Mitzy here. She was the runt of the litter and I took her in as a pet.” Sochu said with a grin on his face. “A big city eh? Well I don’t think you are on the right continent for that boy. Why don’t we go and see if we can find someone who can get you on the right path.”
c. He hooks Milac up with a boat ride. You get the gist by now.
Milac and Suchu exited the igloo house in Jingle City. Unlike the other houses his house had a sall fenced in area behind it. The large man blew a whistle and a pack of dogs began running toward the man. Some had been asleep under the snow, and had burst up out of it as they heard the whistle. Sochu opened the gate and the fluffy black and white dogs all lined up. The man harnessed them all to his large sled, and signaled him to climb aboard. With a smile on his face, Milac obliged to Sochu’s will and he climbed aboard the sled. With a quick crack of a whip above the heads of the animals, the sled began moving quickly through the snowy town. Milac noticed that the man had a small picture taped to the handle of the sled, it was a picture of himself and a young boy who was wearing the man’s fuzzy hat that was too big for him. Milac frowned and wondered what had happened to the man’s family. He put his hand on the man’s shoulder without saying a word to him as they zipped down the snow towards the ocean.
“Alright then, Kido.” Sochu said. The sled came to a stop where several boats where tethered and a few stalls had been set up. The whole area smelled rotten to Milak, who immediately held his nose. Throughout the entirety of the makeshift port men were gutting and cleaning fish. Milak thought that the site was horrible but he held his tongue because Sochu didn’t seem to mind it and he didn’t want to come across as disrespectful.
They dismounted the sled and Sochu pulled out a large slab of raw meat from a bag. He threw it to the dogs who excitedly started to compete for it. They growled at one another and seemed vicious, but again it must have been the norm for them. Trotting down with the man many of the fishers looked at the boy, eyeing him strangely. It was still odd to see a Namekian just strolling around, Milac supposed. Sochu came up to a man who had a goatee and a ball cap on.
“Hey der Catsu! You’re gonna be making a trip soon with yer goods right?” Soshu asked.
“Yea. We should be leavin’ here in a few hours. Why do you need another favor?” Katsu asked.
“Yea, if you don’t mind taking this little lad here with you and letting him off wherever it is that he decides he needs to be, I would appreciate it.” Soshu asked the other man.
“Sure.... sure, but after that my debt is even steven. No more free favors Soshu!” Katsu replied. “Come on little green kid, go in and get comfortable.”
“Th- Thank you sir.” Milac replied with a bow to Soshu, who patted him on the back. “I’ll be going now. I hope to see you again someday!” he called down to Soshu as he walked up to the small steam engine ship that he would be voyaging in.
“Hey kid, take care of yourself! Also what is your name?” Soshu asked.
“Ohhh! I forgot to say. My name is Milac!” He said happily as he made it to the top of the boat ramp. He waved goodbye to the man who had helped him to make it out of his frozen hell.