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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2015 3:15:28 GMT
Name: Aquamarie Kamakiri
Alias:Aquamarine Butterfly Optional, nickname/codename/title/identity
Species:Saiyan
Gender:Female
Age:30
Appearance:Tall with Jet Black Hair and Jet Black Eyes and pale skin and she's skinny and she's got saiyan hair with a geisha hairstyle.
History: She's born and raised in the kanji kingdom, a hidden ninja village on earth; she's a ninja prodigy and she's the daughter of legendary saiyan ninja oxy, her father, who's the leader of an all male ninja clan named the kanji-kon ryu ninja clan and she's the only saiyan kunoichi of the clan.
Starting Planet: Earth
Techniques: [ N1] Kamehameha
Offensive: Super Aqua Shock
Support:Telekinesis, Flight, Ki Sense, Healing
Special: Deep Sea Blaster
Items: 500 Zenni One-Use Pod
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Post by Hyoza on May 17, 2015 13:06:38 GMT
Hello! It seems you've come back after a long period of inactivity, so welcome back! Now, onto your application. Not sure if it's finished yet, but there's a few problems to cover, so I'm just gonna run through them quick. Name: You seem to be going with a Japanese theme for all the name-drops in your app, which is not strictly against the rules, though it is worth noting that Japan does not actually exist in the Dragon Ball version of Earth. Also, Saiyan names are usually puns of types of vegetables (Kakarot = carrot, Vegeta = vegetable, Raditz = radish etc.) You don't have to change it, but some food for thought. Appearance: A bit sparse here, if you don't have a pic it would be nice to at least know some more about how she looks. Is she pale? Tanned? Does she have weird grey-ish skin like Turles? Is she skinny, muscular, or even chubby? Does she have any scars? What kind of hairstyle does she have (keeping in mind saiyans are stuck with their natural hairstyle)? Also, as a pure Saiyan, your character cannot have blue eyes, Saiyan eyes are always black, and their hair is either black or very dark brown. History: Again, your history is quite thin. There's also some problems with what you do have, I'm afraid. Earth in this site's canon is ruled by a global government, and there are technically no separate kingdoms/nations. This Kanji Kingdom could however be a sort of hidden village guarded by the ninja clan if you wanted. Once again, your chosen species throws up some issues as well. How did a pureblood saiyan (a race of interplanetary conquerors who live for combat) end up as a CEO and political leader on Earth? Also, why would Aquamarie be a clone of her Saiyan father? For starters it's impossible, as clones are genetically identical, which would make Aquamarie a male, but also what does it add to her story? You could make Aquamarie a hybrid, which would give you greater control over her appearance and make an Earth-born backstory more believable. We've already got a lot of Saiyans who've started out on Earth (and it's starting to stretch believability to be honest), so without some more fleshed out background that explains this stuff better, I'd be hesitant to stick another Saiyan there. Why not be from a Saiyan colony world, where she's the daughter of the local Overlord? Techniques: As a new character, you only get three technique slots to spend, and you earn a new slot every 6,000 PL (counting up from 0). You are also not permitted to create your own custom Specials I'm afraid. Please refer to this thread for information on how techniques work. When you do select your 3 techniques, please also tag them as appropriate (e.g. [N1] - Kamehameha, etc.) Sorry if this seems like a lot of work to do, but we're here to help. If you need anything, feel free to PM myself or one of the other moderators!
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