|
Post by kullabash on Jan 16, 2015 6:54:55 GMT
Name: Kullabash Abilities: Saiyan Tail,Zenkai,Oozaru Form Species: Pure Saiyan Gender: Male Age: 23 Appearance: Height: 6'0 Weight: 73 Kg History:Kullabash was born in the capital city of Planet Vegeta but was raised in his youth in the harsh deserts of Planet Vegeta with his fellow Saiyans learning basic Ki skills and fighting techniques for a full year before returning to the city and train in simulated battles. During his time in the city Kullabash heard stories of a tyrant who once ruled over the saiyans but stories say that a powerful Saiyan defeated him. Later in life Kullabash was sent out into space to help maintain Saiyan territory which helped with his battle experience when opponents were found. Now in his early adult life Kullabash works as a Saiyan Bounty Hunter seeking out targets wanted by the Saiyan empire Dead or Alive Starting Planet: Planet Vegeta Techniques:Offensive [N1]Ki Volley: A volley of energy ball attacks made with the rapid movement of both hands. [N1]Energy Wave: A charged energy wave attack made with both hands [N1]Ki Breath: A blast of energy fired from the mouth Support [SU]Ki Sense: The ability to sense Ki and PLs. [SU]Ki Flight: The ability to fly with ones own energy. Special N/A Items: 500 Zenni ,Light white cloth pants with red sash, Light red/black leather boots One-Use Pod NotesMy Saiyan name is a pun on a Bottle Gourd Vegetable called Calabash
|
|
|
Post by kullabash on Jan 16, 2015 6:57:39 GMT
that's it for now I got to get some sleep or else im going to be exhausted though I need some info before I write in history how exactly did the saiyans come back ? and from what point in time were they returned because I can find very little info on it
|
|
|
Post by Scargot on Jan 16, 2015 7:03:50 GMT
|
|
|
Post by kullabash on Jan 16, 2015 8:49:18 GMT
Thanks for the info. I do plan on staying a while and I do hope to have an enjoyable time here
|
|
|
Post by kullabash on Jan 16, 2015 10:10:55 GMT
alright I think that's everything unless im missing something
|
|
|
Post by Scargot on Jan 16, 2015 10:16:00 GMT
I suggest more of a history. Add to it. How did your character grow up. What does he do for the empire. Stuff like that.
|
|
Nai-Ran
Archived
(Transferred to Kari-Ko)
Tag: @nairan
Posts: 450
|
Post by Nai-Ran on Jan 16, 2015 10:43:59 GMT
I agree with Scargot. However, I would also recommend writing from the third person.
Bad: I went to the store to pick up some milk. When I got home, I realized I still had another gallon. Good: Kullabash went to the store to pick up some milk. When he got home, he realized he still had another gallon.
You may want to take another look at your techniques as well. As a Saiyan, you get three to start with. Nobody's allowed to start with Moon Ball, as that's a special technique with special requirements. On the other hand, not only does everyone start with the basic ki blast, but they have the option to charge it like any other offensive technique in battle. That leaves you with [N1]Ki Volley, [SU]Ki Sense, and [SU]Ki Flight. Just make sure to toss the appropriate tags on them, as I have demonstrated.
|
|
|
Post by kullabash on Jan 16, 2015 11:41:35 GMT
hmm ok then that's not a problem though im guessing the age is 2800? if so that would mean I would have to rewrite my characters history a bit as he his 23 and would not have been born when Freiza ruled Planet Vegeta
|
|
|
Post by Scargot on Jan 16, 2015 18:59:27 GMT
Exactly. Any questions feel free to message someone or ask in the cbox or shoutbox.
|
|
|
Post by President Bao on Jan 17, 2015 7:22:41 GMT
Hello, I'm Bao, the Character Apps Admin. My two associates are correct, before I allow you through I would like to see the above improvements added to your app. A more decent history will also give you a stronger starting power level, so well worth the effort of writing something a little longer and more in depth As an additional tip for a budding RPer like yourself: In your history tell us about Kullabash - key moments in his life, what made him who he is today - or rather I should say *show* us, you are writing a story so think of it like you are explaining the events of a movie where Kullabash is the star, don't just say 'he is strong' or 'he is a brutal fighter', show us these things through the story itself. There are sure to have been exciting and gruelling events during his training and his life as a bounty hunter which helped form him into the person he is today while also being a generally cool story to share
|
|