Post by Aspar on May 15, 2017 3:13:18 GMT
Reading My Profile will make this make sense.
It would be the exact same moment that a small beam of sunshine broke through the window pane of Aspars bedroom to defy the odds of remaining unobstructed on its path to Earth, to land on the cusp of a restfully closed eyelid momentarily, as Aspar awoke from his slumber.
Rising up and finding a comfortable position leaning against the bedhead behind him, Aspar squinted and allowed his eyes to flutter themselves awake. Remaining like this for a few crisp morning moments, Aspar then would bring himself over to sit on the side of the bed and allow his feet to drop down and feel the cold and rigid floorboards below. He drew his arms and shoulders back, squeezing and stretching, before following with a heavy sigh as he slumped back into a loose posture.
He looked down and studied his own arms resting wearily in his lap. He gazed over the many bruises and superficial cuts than run over his forearms. While each individual wound seemed foreign, collectively they served to remind Aspar of the exhaustive training session he had undertaken some days ago that had left him in this state. Flexing and curling his wrists drew a quick wince from the young man, sighing again as he released the tension and moved his gaze to the outside world peering in at him from the window speckled with sparse dew drops.
He watched as the wild uncut grass and trees allowed themselves to be caressed and brushed around by a intermittent whisper of wind. Being surround by mostly grassy plains allowed for Aspar to see from his seated position on the bed to the far horizon in the distance. It would be a sight like this that would remind Aspar of a lesson he had learnt many years ago, yet still lived by every day of his life. Life goes on. While it’s important to remember the past, its somehow more important not let ones thoughts dwell there. Some mornings Aspar felt tempted to simply remain in bed and indulge in fond memories of his former life, he knew better. Eventually those memories would twist and evolve into condemning nightmares that would fester inside the mind, feeding on a deep seeded pool of self loathing and hate.
Feeling his limp body slump as he weighed down the thin mattress beneath him, Aspar quickly snapped his attention back to the present and rose to his feet. Stretching his tender arms along with the rest of his fatigued body, Aspar mumbled quietly to himself and left his bedroom to start the day.
“Life goes on.”
It was some hours later and encroaching upon the post meridiem when Aspar found himself outside among a small patch of short stiff grass laying down in push up position in the middle of a morning training session.
Moving from the top of position Aspar drew his shoulder blades in and braced both his arms and chest as he slowly lowered his body until he felt it hovering just millimetres above the earth below. Bracing again as his body attempted to change direction and draw itself back up, Aspar’s arms would begin to waver and shake.
“Three hundred and ninety-six” he exasperatedly huffed through gritted teeth.
The morning sun overhead had awoken and risen to almost full strength as Aspar had done himself hours earlier. It hung ominously and to some extent unforgivingly. Several beads of sweat ran down Aspar’s forehead, trickling like canals snaking their way through a dry desert canyon. With each pushup completed a couple more would fall to their demises and splash down dramatically into the grassy covering below to eventually seep and soak in the soil hidden under the grass Aspar toiled upon.
Labouring at the bottom of a pushup, Aspars arms had now submitted to the wavering and wobbling and had stopped in their tracks refusing to exert themselves any further. The young man was stuck just millimetres off the ground, his muscles having been compromised by the exertion of the exercise. A series of grunts and groans escaped from the young man involuntarily as he felt his body beginning to fail. Despite how hard he pushed down against the earth below, calling into action all the muscles in his chest, back and arms, Aspars body still slowly descended in height until the inevitable, inevitably happened.
With a slight thump Aspar’s body collapsed onto the grass. His arms flopped to his side, dead and lifeless. The young man huffed into the grass before turning his head to the side to suck in the remaining fresh morning pockets of air. It seemed that this is where Aspar’s body would be destined to lay for the next few minutes as he recovered. It was also apparent that his morning routine had been drawn to a close as he found himself devoid of any remaining energy to continue. It was in these next few moments, lying with his cheek against the soft grass and breeze blowing lightly over him, eyes closed, that Aspar would take a second to reiterate to his lifeless body why he did this day in and day out.
“It’s not because of them. It’s not for him. It’s for you, because of you,” the words escaping out into the open air almost as quickly as they were uttered to no one in particular.
Aspar had frequently found himself emphasising that he worked his body like this each day because he wanted to be strong for himself and no one else. He refused to allow himself to believe that it was revenge against the Blue Banner Army he longed for deep down, or that it was to somehow to prove himself to his father looking down from above. He refused to allow hateful or regretful emotions drive him. He had to do this for himself, to prove to himself, because as he too often finds himself realising, life goes on.
LIFE GOES ON
It would be the exact same moment that a small beam of sunshine broke through the window pane of Aspars bedroom to defy the odds of remaining unobstructed on its path to Earth, to land on the cusp of a restfully closed eyelid momentarily, as Aspar awoke from his slumber.
Rising up and finding a comfortable position leaning against the bedhead behind him, Aspar squinted and allowed his eyes to flutter themselves awake. Remaining like this for a few crisp morning moments, Aspar then would bring himself over to sit on the side of the bed and allow his feet to drop down and feel the cold and rigid floorboards below. He drew his arms and shoulders back, squeezing and stretching, before following with a heavy sigh as he slumped back into a loose posture.
He looked down and studied his own arms resting wearily in his lap. He gazed over the many bruises and superficial cuts than run over his forearms. While each individual wound seemed foreign, collectively they served to remind Aspar of the exhaustive training session he had undertaken some days ago that had left him in this state. Flexing and curling his wrists drew a quick wince from the young man, sighing again as he released the tension and moved his gaze to the outside world peering in at him from the window speckled with sparse dew drops.
He watched as the wild uncut grass and trees allowed themselves to be caressed and brushed around by a intermittent whisper of wind. Being surround by mostly grassy plains allowed for Aspar to see from his seated position on the bed to the far horizon in the distance. It would be a sight like this that would remind Aspar of a lesson he had learnt many years ago, yet still lived by every day of his life. Life goes on. While it’s important to remember the past, its somehow more important not let ones thoughts dwell there. Some mornings Aspar felt tempted to simply remain in bed and indulge in fond memories of his former life, he knew better. Eventually those memories would twist and evolve into condemning nightmares that would fester inside the mind, feeding on a deep seeded pool of self loathing and hate.
Feeling his limp body slump as he weighed down the thin mattress beneath him, Aspar quickly snapped his attention back to the present and rose to his feet. Stretching his tender arms along with the rest of his fatigued body, Aspar mumbled quietly to himself and left his bedroom to start the day.
“Life goes on.”
It was some hours later and encroaching upon the post meridiem when Aspar found himself outside among a small patch of short stiff grass laying down in push up position in the middle of a morning training session.
Moving from the top of position Aspar drew his shoulder blades in and braced both his arms and chest as he slowly lowered his body until he felt it hovering just millimetres above the earth below. Bracing again as his body attempted to change direction and draw itself back up, Aspar’s arms would begin to waver and shake.
“Three hundred and ninety-six” he exasperatedly huffed through gritted teeth.
The morning sun overhead had awoken and risen to almost full strength as Aspar had done himself hours earlier. It hung ominously and to some extent unforgivingly. Several beads of sweat ran down Aspar’s forehead, trickling like canals snaking their way through a dry desert canyon. With each pushup completed a couple more would fall to their demises and splash down dramatically into the grassy covering below to eventually seep and soak in the soil hidden under the grass Aspar toiled upon.
Labouring at the bottom of a pushup, Aspars arms had now submitted to the wavering and wobbling and had stopped in their tracks refusing to exert themselves any further. The young man was stuck just millimetres off the ground, his muscles having been compromised by the exertion of the exercise. A series of grunts and groans escaped from the young man involuntarily as he felt his body beginning to fail. Despite how hard he pushed down against the earth below, calling into action all the muscles in his chest, back and arms, Aspars body still slowly descended in height until the inevitable, inevitably happened.
With a slight thump Aspar’s body collapsed onto the grass. His arms flopped to his side, dead and lifeless. The young man huffed into the grass before turning his head to the side to suck in the remaining fresh morning pockets of air. It seemed that this is where Aspar’s body would be destined to lay for the next few minutes as he recovered. It was also apparent that his morning routine had been drawn to a close as he found himself devoid of any remaining energy to continue. It was in these next few moments, lying with his cheek against the soft grass and breeze blowing lightly over him, eyes closed, that Aspar would take a second to reiterate to his lifeless body why he did this day in and day out.
“It’s not because of them. It’s not for him. It’s for you, because of you,” the words escaping out into the open air almost as quickly as they were uttered to no one in particular.
Aspar had frequently found himself emphasising that he worked his body like this each day because he wanted to be strong for himself and no one else. He refused to allow himself to believe that it was revenge against the Blue Banner Army he longed for deep down, or that it was to somehow to prove himself to his father looking down from above. He refused to allow hateful or regretful emotions drive him. He had to do this for himself, to prove to himself, because as he too often finds himself realising, life goes on.