Post by Grail Brisk on May 11, 2017 20:28:50 GMT
I've looked at the messages in my PM conversation with someone that led up to me getting banned and my warning level risen to 90%. I've looked at them over and over again; trying to see how these messages lined up to what I was accused of. I had a talk with an admin about it; they failed to convince me either. I am not seeing it at all. It's completely unfounded libel in my eyes.
Warning in Question
The warning contains two basic premises. Coercion and Harassment.
The following contains the content of the Personal Messages, with information changed just enough to protect the identity of anyone mentioned/involved excluding myself. Staff has access to the original, they can easily check the info to verify. Changed text is bolded and capped.
Now with the content of the messages that got me banned shown, time to drop some word definitions. We're using Merriam Webster, because it's an official Dictionary company.
Coerce
Compel
Harass
Given the stated definitions, the wording of the warning itself, and the content of the messages, I fail to see how the judgment was made to have me banned. I obviously did not coerce the person I was conversing with, and I feel you'd have to have malicious intent towards me to try and justify it as harassment either.
To the Coercion. It means to 1"restrain or dominate by force", 2"to compel into an act or choice", or 3"to achieve by force or threat".
In relation to the messages, definition one is obviously out, as is definition three. Not once in any of my messages did I threaten the person in any manner, and I am literally incapable of utilizing force of any kind, due to having absolutely no leverage over this person in any fashion whatsoever. That leaves definition two, which is why Compel is also included above.
Compel means either 1"to drive or urge forcefully or irresistibly", 2"to cause to do or occur by overwhelming pressure", or 3"to drive together".
Compel is outright not applicable here. Definition one again requires force, definition two requires me to have tried to use "overwhelming pressure", and definition three doesn't even make sense in this context.
Let's not leave out the fact that I never tried to get the person I was talking to do anything, the closest part of my message to telling them to do something being the advice that they make their own decisions, and if they view someone as their master and are loyal only to them they should say they're in a committed relationship. The idea that I attempted to coerce the person I was conversing with is completely false; it's libel. If nothing else comes from this, I want that part of the Warning removed.
Next part; Harassment. Harass means 1A"Exhaust, Fatigue", 1B1"To annoy persistently", 1B2"to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct ", or 2"to worry and impede by repeated raids ".
Definition two doesn't even make sense here, so it's out. Definition One-A also doesn't make sense, and Definition One-B-One requires me to have been attempting to continue to converse with this person "persistently". Two messages is not persistent. That leaves One-B-Two. Fine. That one I can't defend against. I may have created an unpleasant situation with my uninvited message without knowing it at the time, and indeed given the fact that I got banned over these messages, gonna say yeah, I apparently did.
So fine, you can get me for Harassment, but I have a simple question. Why didn't the person I was conversing with just tell me to stop? I wasn't trying to coerce them to do anything, I was explaining to them my motives and thoughts on previous interactions with them, refuting what they had claimed in the message they had given me just previously. I had asked them a question in PMs regarding why they had blocked me on skype. They responded. I responded back. It was in my mind a pretty normal conversation setup, and they never told me to stop. Instead they went directly to the staff and I was banned. I didn't even know why I was banned until I talked to others offsite; it came as a complete surprise. While none of this negates the fact that I apparently harassed them; I think it should be taken into consideration because I obviously had no malicious intent towards them, and that should count for something.
So, in closing, the accusation of Coercion is completely false and is Libel, and while I have apparently harassed someone in PMs it was not with awareness that I was harassing them or any kind of malicious intent. Two PMs without hostile intent does not seem harassment to me at all.
Warning in Question
The warning contains two basic premises. Coercion and Harassment.
The following contains the content of the Personal Messages, with information changed just enough to protect the identity of anyone mentioned/involved excluding myself. Staff has access to the original, they can easily check the info to verify. Changed text is bolded and capped.
Message Title: "Okay. How'd I piss you off IRL?"
I'd like the reasoning, if any, directly from you please. I never got any negative remark from you in our skype chat, I was just suddenly deleted with no warning. So if it was an accident, cool. If it was deliberate, fine. If there was a reason for it, please tell it to me rather than have your friend bitch at me on skype. :/
The Response
My Response
1. What business is it of PERSON B's what you and I talk about? You're a grown ADULTwho said you were single and happy to stay that way.
You shouldn't have someone else making your decisions for you; you're fully capable of making them yourself. If you view PERSON B as your Master and your loyalty is to THEM alone, then you should update your information to say "In a Committed Relationship".
2. Roleplay is Roleplay and should not be judged as if it's real life. When I offered to ERP with you. That's what I was offering; I wasn't planning on trying to get with you in real life, I wasn't trying to create a romantic relationship with you. I was offering to write dirty stories with you for the enjoyment of us both. I've done so with several people in the past, and we all did so with the knowledge that what we were doing was never going to become anything else besides writing some smut together. Perhaps it was assumptive of me to expect you to also treat it that way, and if that's not what roleplay is for you my apologies, but that was my intent from the start. Roleplay is roleplay; it was never meant to be anything else.
3. I'm not trying to "Get" with anyone. I've roleplayed with several people before, and some of them were married or engaged women. I wasn't destroying their relationships, I wasn't taking a man's wife away from him. I was writing a smutty story with someone who wanted to write a smutty story. I never later went to go meet them and fuck them IRL; I never tried to make anything more of the interaction than what it started out as. The idea of a "notch on the bedpost" is completely insane to me in this scenario, because there's no bed for posts to put notches into; sex was never involved except as a part of a story.
Apr 28, 2017 17:36:47 GMT Grail Brisk said:
You accepted me on skype. We talked a bit, had some talk of potential ERP in the future, thought we were fine with each other and were having a fun time. Then you delete me from your skype list. Okay. I thought perhaps you deleted me by accident, didn't ask cause it didnt seem important. Now I get a message from PERSON B saying I pissed you off by trying to get you to ERP or something.I'd like the reasoning, if any, directly from you please. I never got any negative remark from you in our skype chat, I was just suddenly deleted with no warning. So if it was an accident, cool. If it was deliberate, fine. If there was a reason for it, please tell it to me rather than have your friend bitch at me on skype. :/
The Response
I never told THEM to talk to you, THEY did that on THEIR own. However, THEY ARE my Alpha. THEY told me to remove you from Skype, so I did. THEY WERE not happy with you trying to get with me and PERSON C behind THEIR back, so I did what I was told to do, because I wanted to do it. My loyalty lies with THEM and THEM alone. I never said I WOULD ERP with you, just that perhaps I would. After I found out you where also trying to get with PERSON C and who knew who else, that was when I backed off. I am here to role play, not just be another notch on someone's bed post.
My Response
Apr 29, 2017 3:45:08 GMT Grail Brisk said:
What the hell does Roleplay have to do with Real Life? Notch on the bedpost? THEY'RE your Alpha?1. What business is it of PERSON B's what you and I talk about? You're a grown ADULTwho said you were single and happy to stay that way.
PLACED HERE WAS A PICTURE SHOWING THE RECIPIENT'S INFORMATION FROM THEIR SKYPE, CITING THE FACT THAT THEY SAID THEY WERE SINGLE AND HAPPY TO REMAIN SUCH. THEIR SKYPE NAME AS OF THE TIME OF THIS POST IS EASILY FOUND ON THEIR FORUM PROFILE, AND THEIR SKYPE INFO CAN BE READ BY ANYONE WHO HAS THEIR NAME. IT'S INFORMATION THAT THEY MADE PUBLIC.
You shouldn't have someone else making your decisions for you; you're fully capable of making them yourself. If you view PERSON B as your Master and your loyalty is to THEM alone, then you should update your information to say "In a Committed Relationship".
2. Roleplay is Roleplay and should not be judged as if it's real life. When I offered to ERP with you. That's what I was offering; I wasn't planning on trying to get with you in real life, I wasn't trying to create a romantic relationship with you. I was offering to write dirty stories with you for the enjoyment of us both. I've done so with several people in the past, and we all did so with the knowledge that what we were doing was never going to become anything else besides writing some smut together. Perhaps it was assumptive of me to expect you to also treat it that way, and if that's not what roleplay is for you my apologies, but that was my intent from the start. Roleplay is roleplay; it was never meant to be anything else.
3. I'm not trying to "Get" with anyone. I've roleplayed with several people before, and some of them were married or engaged women. I wasn't destroying their relationships, I wasn't taking a man's wife away from him. I was writing a smutty story with someone who wanted to write a smutty story. I never later went to go meet them and fuck them IRL; I never tried to make anything more of the interaction than what it started out as. The idea of a "notch on the bedpost" is completely insane to me in this scenario, because there's no bed for posts to put notches into; sex was never involved except as a part of a story.
Now with the content of the messages that got me banned shown, time to drop some word definitions. We're using Merriam Webster, because it's an official Dictionary company.
Coerce
Compel
Harass
Given the stated definitions, the wording of the warning itself, and the content of the messages, I fail to see how the judgment was made to have me banned. I obviously did not coerce the person I was conversing with, and I feel you'd have to have malicious intent towards me to try and justify it as harassment either.
To the Coercion. It means to 1"restrain or dominate by force", 2"to compel into an act or choice", or 3"to achieve by force or threat".
In relation to the messages, definition one is obviously out, as is definition three. Not once in any of my messages did I threaten the person in any manner, and I am literally incapable of utilizing force of any kind, due to having absolutely no leverage over this person in any fashion whatsoever. That leaves definition two, which is why Compel is also included above.
Compel means either 1"to drive or urge forcefully or irresistibly", 2"to cause to do or occur by overwhelming pressure", or 3"to drive together".
Compel is outright not applicable here. Definition one again requires force, definition two requires me to have tried to use "overwhelming pressure", and definition three doesn't even make sense in this context.
Let's not leave out the fact that I never tried to get the person I was talking to do anything, the closest part of my message to telling them to do something being the advice that they make their own decisions, and if they view someone as their master and are loyal only to them they should say they're in a committed relationship. The idea that I attempted to coerce the person I was conversing with is completely false; it's libel. If nothing else comes from this, I want that part of the Warning removed.
Next part; Harassment. Harass means 1A"Exhaust, Fatigue", 1B1"To annoy persistently", 1B2"to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct ", or 2"to worry and impede by repeated raids ".
Definition two doesn't even make sense here, so it's out. Definition One-A also doesn't make sense, and Definition One-B-One requires me to have been attempting to continue to converse with this person "persistently". Two messages is not persistent. That leaves One-B-Two. Fine. That one I can't defend against. I may have created an unpleasant situation with my uninvited message without knowing it at the time, and indeed given the fact that I got banned over these messages, gonna say yeah, I apparently did.
So fine, you can get me for Harassment, but I have a simple question. Why didn't the person I was conversing with just tell me to stop? I wasn't trying to coerce them to do anything, I was explaining to them my motives and thoughts on previous interactions with them, refuting what they had claimed in the message they had given me just previously. I had asked them a question in PMs regarding why they had blocked me on skype. They responded. I responded back. It was in my mind a pretty normal conversation setup, and they never told me to stop. Instead they went directly to the staff and I was banned. I didn't even know why I was banned until I talked to others offsite; it came as a complete surprise. While none of this negates the fact that I apparently harassed them; I think it should be taken into consideration because I obviously had no malicious intent towards them, and that should count for something.
So, in closing, the accusation of Coercion is completely false and is Libel, and while I have apparently harassed someone in PMs it was not with awareness that I was harassing them or any kind of malicious intent. Two PMs without hostile intent does not seem harassment to me at all.