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Post by Core Stold on Feb 25, 2016 0:23:27 GMT
Name: Core Stold
Alias: Red
Species: Arcosians
Natural Power:
By learning to control their incredible power in suppressed states, the Arcosian can ascend to new heights faster than others and get more out of training. Arcosians receive a PL bonus in lower forms: Suppressed Form of +20%, of their Brute Form of +10%, and of their Monster Form by +5%. True Form gives no gain. This bonus stops at 150,000 PL and does not effect Zeni gains.
Durability
Arcosians are a hardy species, beyond their natural strength they can also take a hit and survive injuries surprisingly well and can live even in the vacuum of space. When activated while receiving an attack, Durability adds a one-time x1 modifier to your defensive PL.
Gender: Male
Age: 6 Years old
Appearance: Mastered form[Social]:
Mastered form[Combat]: Core's new form, base from his previous True form, it's a little stronger but permanent, which mean he can't go back to his previous forms!
History:
Origins:
The first of Core all started up when a team of scientist were inspired to create a team of six Arcosian that would be destined to become the species's strongest fighters, and for that, they would need to clone some with the perfect genes and attributes. The scientists went into a journey around the whole planet to gather DNA from the strongest of all fighters on the planet, both from actual soldiers of the royal guard and also from newborn that were the strongest at birth, all in their big plan to create this new bred of super-Arcosian. When their journey was over, the scientist burried themselves in their secret labs and began to mix the DNA together, selecting certain trait and genes that needed to be at the base for the cloning process of their siblings. They went to a secret lab because they knew that the species was corrupted to the core, and that only the empress was trying to move on with those old ideal, and forn ow, they had to keepthe young Arcosian, destined to be the future royal guard of the empress, away from those age-old though of Arcosian being the stronger of all and all the species being inferior, the empire already had some problem with saiyans that were stronger than most Arcosian so thoses ideas were old and rotten, nto worth attention, so the baby Arcosian had to be kept away from all of those and raised on the idea of all species being equal. They spend years perfecting the recipe and came down to exactly 6 different stripes of DNA, they agreed to create all six of them and for each, they would use a different power-source in the process. The eggs the scientist gathered on their journey were now used to contain the sibling's life and developpe it. The one Core was in was tainted Red , and on this very day, the journey of Core Stold began on planet Arcose, along his five siblings, luckily, their Bio-gems all ended up being different color of Arcosian, making it easy to name them all in the earlier stage of their life. They were called Red, Blue, Orange, Green, purple and Yellow.
The 'Core' of the story:
It was finally the day, the scientist were watching the sibling's eggs closely. In the evening, the first hatcher, it was green, and soon, they all followed, the last one being the red one, Core. They were all called by theirs colors by the scientist to make it easier in the early ages. Core grew up to be the the most careless of the group, he woke up late most of the time, was often seen to find anything that would distract him and was the most childish of the group, but there was more to the youngling that most could see, as he was one of the strongest of the team, only trumped in physical strenght by Green, and in ki manipulation by Blue. Is was finally the day, all of the youngling were finally going to learn about the Arcosian's suppressed form and how to get into them in order to fit better and control their power, one after another, everyone were suceeding, yet Core was unable to complete so. Knowing his hot temper, Blue approached him with his supressed form. '' Common Red, turn into your supressed form, we're confortable in it!'' He would tell him only to taunt him and provoc a reaction to help him, Yellow, approached them and giggles. '' Yeah, don't you see how we all look good? Try it yourself!'' She would say, only to add to Core's jealousy. The youngling then spent the whole night trying to control his ki, but the truth was, his fiery ki was radiating inside him and was harder to control than the others. '' Why... why do i always have to be different!'' He would say, smashing against the wall of his room, finally falling on the ground of exhaustion. The next morning, it was Orange who found him, he would wake him up with a wide smiles as he patted him on the shoulder. '' Congratulation brother, you done it!'' He would way with a warm smile as Core realised he was a lot smaller then before, Core would laught it off childishly and looked at him. '' O-of course! I was only acting like i couldn't do it!'' He would say, but really, he couldn't lie all that much, as he was looking at himself in the mirror with wide impressed eyes, Orange sighted as he looked at him. '' Right brother... right..''
Landing:
We now follow the path of one of those Arcosian, Core. As the six child were sent to random planet that were known to contain life, this one ended up on Earth. Upon landing, his ship broke, the distance had been too rushed and his speed couldn’t have reduced enough for a proper landing, making the ship explode on landing, and the eggs, now grown up as much as Core, would save him and would land at the top of a waterfall in the bamboo forest. For a whole years, his eggs was praise, as a native tribe saw him and mistook him for some sort of gift from heaven. Soon Core would wake up, what kind of person could this created warrior become?
Starting Planet: Earth
Techniques:
Offensive: Laser vison branch [ N1 --> MP3] Shoots plasma beam from Core's eyes ( Chest Bio-gem from MP3)
Ignite punch Branch [N1--> MP3] A super-punch that ignites the hydrogen in the air create powerful fire
Support:
Zankoken [ SU ]: Give the user the ability to teleport short distances and leave a moving illusion were he was previosuly
Utility :
Flight [ST] Give the ability of flying
Ki-sensing [ST] Allow his user to sense people's ki
Ki-supressing [ ST ]
Special :
Items: 500 Zenni
One-Use Pod
Heavy weight
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Daiki Iranos
Archived
PL: 163,046
Mastered Super Saiyan(x15)
Zeni: 87
Tag: @daikiiranos
Posts: 572
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Post by Daiki Iranos on Feb 25, 2016 0:26:07 GMT
Hey guys, Daiki here, i have no interest in playing Daiki, and this is my new character, i would like to transfer some power level to him ( 20 000 i think? ) And maybe like... my spaceship and scouter, but only if thats possible, thanks )
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Nicolas Mclendon
Moderator
The Hero of the Cosmos: CAPTAIN NOVA!
PL: 145,482
Intense Struggle (x3); X-Factor (x6); Amazing Captain Nova (x16)
Zeni: 2336
Tag: @nicolas
OOC Name: Nicolas
Posts: 1,010
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Post by Nicolas Mclendon on Feb 26, 2016 2:36:51 GMT
Hey man I strongly advise changing his name, primarily because "Nova" is typically used to refer to "Captain Nova" both IC and OOC which could lead to some serious confusion. Perhaps an ice pun name would fit better?
Speaking of confusion I can't really make heads or tails of what story you're trying to portray with your character's history. It doesn't seem to sync with any of the site's events or make much sense. The motives for the scientists flip flop numerous times and the reason for your character's creation doesn't seem clear cut at all. I suggest a thorough reworking to make it more understandable and more focused on the character itself rather than his confused origins.
Descriptions for the techniques would be nice too.
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Post by Core Stold on Feb 26, 2016 2:41:11 GMT
1: Oh my gods its been 4 name that has been rejected, i can'T even look up in the members to see the names...
2: They were made to be warriors for the Arcosian empire, the scientist were going to show the new breed of ''Super-arcosian'' to the queen/king, thats not complicated... at all... and i mean, in a universe, there is not only 1 story to be told, it can be outside of the main conflicts of the worlds... can't it?
3:Description of technique, i can do that...
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Nicolas Mclendon
Moderator
The Hero of the Cosmos: CAPTAIN NOVA!
PL: 145,482
Intense Struggle (x3); X-Factor (x6); Amazing Captain Nova (x16)
Zeni: 2336
Tag: @nicolas
OOC Name: Nicolas
Posts: 1,010
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Post by Nicolas Mclendon on Feb 26, 2016 2:45:13 GMT
When you put it that way the it is not complicated at all but the way the history is written doesn't convey that right. Also I still feel like the origin shouldn't be the bulk of the history because it doesn't give us a lot of insight into your character other than 'He was made to be the best' which is seriously lacking in any depth.
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Post by Core Stold on Feb 26, 2016 2:47:33 GMT
He wasn't made to be the best, he was made to be strong since childhood, which make sense why, in the furute events including him, he will be facing grown up warriors that have waya more experience, even if he's a child, and his character will be developped trough his history in the site, as he is an innocent child, even if he does have some knowledge, he has a lot to learn since he lived in captivity with his brothers<
Edit: Also, name is fixed
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Nicolas Mclendon
Moderator
The Hero of the Cosmos: CAPTAIN NOVA!
PL: 145,482
Intense Struggle (x3); X-Factor (x6); Amazing Captain Nova (x16)
Zeni: 2336
Tag: @nicolas
OOC Name: Nicolas
Posts: 1,010
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Post by Nicolas Mclendon on Feb 26, 2016 2:50:43 GMT
I'm sorry as the history is now I can't accept your character.
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Post by Core Stold on Feb 26, 2016 3:23:10 GMT
There, i changed things up a bit, the name, the techniques and a new part of the story showing a bit more what kind of character to expect from Core
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Post by Beryl Roarke on Feb 28, 2016 19:07:03 GMT
There are still parts in the application where you refer to Core as Nova. Be sure to change all of that.
Once you do that, go ahead and do your BP. Accepted.
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Post by Pieter Wolfbane on May 22, 2016 20:16:22 GMT
Core, rather than have a story that suggests he is a bio Android born of crystals, why don't you change it to the 7 being clones of a Top Arcosian warrior and have a little story development behind their creations and their failures in clones 1 to 6, with 7th being a success.
With core being child clone 6, they would be a failed clone too. However, I think you need to elaborate why he is the chosen one that you are playing as the main character in your story.
This war story should be removed, as it has no substantial existence to be worth mentioning. Arcosian scientists are seeking power several years prior to the present. That you should keep.
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Post by Core Stold on May 22, 2016 20:22:31 GMT
Edited
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Post by Pieter Wolfbane on May 22, 2016 21:19:32 GMT
Now, I've been notified several times that you were supposed to remove the reference and usage of the star. With the way the history is, that needs removal, as it is unimportant.
In addition, dna does nor operate in a sequence of colors. There are countless traits that the dna structure uses that the scientists would be looking into, in order to determine what is good, bad, and needed for the children to survive. The idea they ended up as a rainbow is purely coincidental, with no reasoning to state other than it was from each child's parent. Color age would be the reverse, if you are having the scientist call them by color for that reasoning, so taking that out will be good for you in the end.
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Post by Core Stold on May 22, 2016 21:28:30 GMT
Edited, also my bad, i was told the color schemed of the Bio-gemss were something in the genes, i'll remove it as well ^^
And originally the star was suposed to be removed because it was literally partly infused in Core, i changed that also but i won't take any chance and remove all trace of it ssince you asked me, it's just going to create a bit of a fail since it's mentioned in many threads
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Post by Pieter Wolfbane on May 23, 2016 20:39:29 GMT
1) This is real quick, as I can't avoid it! There are many grammatical errors that, in the future, you will want fix out (such as using 'common' instead of using, 'Come on'). It is most imperative that you look for these words and the structure in which you put them, if you wish to improve upon how you write as a whole!
2) Moving along to the important matters, the scientists would be looking for why each warrior is so great and be trying to reproduce those traits in the clones, so that they can circumvent the foul, troubling traits that would be appearing in the physiology. This, in turn, would be a very long and dramatic process to cover over the course of many long years, and would in turn, need continual observation, rather than trying to just hide away in subterranean laboratories to find out this information for many years! This would be a nice factor to add into your character history, so Core and his brothers are much more appealing the eyes and minds!
Once these things are covered in the history, these factors would actually provide the stability ground to be good with! Let me know when you've inserted this, so that I can give you the either, "Okay, you're set," or the, "Hang on, you've got some matters over here that need addressing"!
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Post by Core Stold on May 23, 2016 20:55:08 GMT
I edited a reason why Core would have to be in a closed area without having it changed on whole, it's in the origin part. I had it made sense without having to retcon most of my theads mentionning that Core was raised in a closed lab or simply evolving from that fact by explorion a free worlds and feeling freedom for the first time.
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